Meant to Be
by kennedymommy3
Summary: Bella and Jake have had a long term relationship that has died down to nothing. When a new doctor catches her eye, she's left feeling more confused than ever. Does she move on with someone new, or hold on to what she knows?
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1**

**BPOV**

_Where can he be?_ It was just after nine and Jake still wasn't home yet. It was unnerving to me that he was still at work at this time of night when the shop closed at six. I knew they were a little swamped since Embry had taken leave for the arrival of his new daughter and Jacob and Quil were trying to carry his load, as well as their own, but really how many cars needed to be fixed in a small town like Forks? I looked out the window to watch as sheets of rain beat against the window pane while I awaited his arrival.

_Well, so much for our movie night. _I got up from the chair by the window after a few minutes and let out a deep sigh. I decided I would take a bubble bath so my night wouldn't turn out to be such a total disaster.

_I'll try again next week, _I thought to myself as I turned the water on and poured in a little of my cherry blossom bubble bath I had picked up last week in Silverdale. The steam was a very welcomed cloak creeping over my body and filling my lungs while I undressed. It was a comforting experience. I threw my clothes in the hamper and grabbed my iPod off of the counter while making my way over to the tub. I tentatively stepped into the almost too hot water and felt my muscles immediately start to relax as I slinked my way down under the blanket of bubbles.

_Hmm..this is nice_ I thought to myself while listening to _Wedding Dress_ by Matt Nathanson. I had always dreamed of dancing to that song with Jake on our wedding day, whenever that would be. I then let my mind wander to the possibilities of what our future would hold for us.

I must have dosed off not long after that because I was woken up by Jake pounding on the door of the bathroom, yelling my name, his voice heavy and slurred from his drunken state.

"Bells, are you okay in there? Didn't drown, did you?" he asked opening the door slightly to peek in the room. His short cropped hair was disheveled in such a way he looked like he had been rolling around rough housing with the boys again.

"No I'm fine. I was just getting out," I told him as I pulled my ear buds from my ears and grabbed the towel from the towel bar.

I stepped out onto the rug and started drying my legs as Jake just stood in the door way watching me with what seemed like....impatience? I pulled the drain from the tub and finished drying the rest of my body and finally wrapping the towel securely around my body.

"Well it took you long enough, I've been needing in there to take a leak and get a quick shower before heading to sleep." Jacob said as he pushed the door the rest of the way open.

"Well I'm done so it's all yours now. I'm just going to go get dressed for bed. I'll see you in there?" I didn't mean to form the last part as a question. It just came out that way.

"Yeah. Sure, sure. Now can I have a moment alone so I can take a piss?" He asked as he shoved past me to the toilet. Just as he walked past me, the air shifting behind him, I caught a whiff of something different. There was definitely the oil and grime smell he wore every night when he came home from the shop, but something was off. There was a faint floral scent added in with the grime. I let out a deep breath and closed the door slowly behind me as I exited the bathroom.

I made my way to our room and over to my dresser to grab some panties and a camisole to sleep in. I put them on, then grabbed my brush and started yanking through the tangles of my hair. I went back to the bathroom to retrieve my deodorant and body spray. Jake was already in the shower and was singing _Sex on Fire_ rather loudly so I hoped he wouldn't notice me sneaking in there. I grabbed my things and was exiting the restroom when I noticed a scrap of paper on the floor next to his jeans. I picked it up to throw it away but realized there was something written on it. It was a phone number with a lipstick kiss around it. _Oh, how original _I thought as I flipped it over looking for a name but found none.

"Jacob," I said, my voice shaking slightly.

"Yeah?" he asked sardonically.

"Whose phone number is this with a kiss on it?" I asked, my voice faltering a little in the middle.

And for once I found Jacob Black at a loss of words.

**JPOV**

_Holy Hell. _I couldn't believe Bella had found the scrap of paper Leah had written her number on for me. I knew what she was playing at when she gave it to me, but the thought of playing 'nurse and patient', as she called it, was just down right sickening to me.

Everyone from the reservation had already taken a round at that, all except for me that is, and I wasn't about to become another notch in her bed post.

~o0o~

We were all at the hospital because Jenni, Embry's wife, was having some sort of pre-baby stuff going on and thought it was time. I had forgot to call Bella in my rush to get to the hospital to be there for Embry while he paced back and forth in the small waiting room.

The new gyno doctor had just come out and wanted to talk to Embry alone so I walked down to the vending machine to grab some chips and a soda. I was just about to put the coins into the coke machine when I heard the annoying wench's voice.

"Ooh, if it isn't the godly Jacob Black." Leah said as she walked up behind me and slid her hand around my waste.

"Knock it off Leah. What are you doing here?" I asked as I pushed her hand off of me.

"You didn't hear? I finished college and got a job here at the hospital working in OB as the nurse in the nursery." she said with great enthusiasm.

_How anyone would let this chick touch their kid with those hands is beyond me _I thought to myself finally retrieving my coke from the machine.

"Yeah, well that's great Leah. See ya 'round." I said as I started to walk off towards the maternity wing again.

"Oh Jacob, how's your _Bella_ doing? Tell her I said hi, would ya?" she asked, her voice turning to acid at Bella's name.

"Leah, we're not going to talk about _my Bella_, ok? So just drop it." I said as I continued walking towards the big double doors blocking the view of the father's waiting room.

Leah and Bella had never gotten along ever since the first time I took Bella out back in high school. Bella was hell bent on beating the crap out of Leah for trying to kiss me at the prom but I told her it wasn't worth it and she was too beautiful that night to stoop to that skank's level. She let it go at the time but never did care to be around her after that. I probably should of let her go after Leah, maybe she would have stopped her advances then and there. I just didn't want Bella to ruin the beautiful dress she had saved for for so long. And between you and me, I've seen Leah fight growing up. I couldn't leave Bella with the possibility of getting man handled by her.

I heard Leah running down the hall way to catch up to me and just as I turned around to tell her to go bother some other tool, she jumped up to wrap her arms around my neck. I immediately grabbed her wrists and pushed her away but not before she stuck a piece of paper down the front of my shirt.

"Call me when you're sick of the pale face and need Nurse Leah to make you feel better." she said over her shoulder as she walked through the double doors and into the nursery.

"Damn, dude go wash that filth off." Quil said as I walked into the waiting room. "I can't believe you let her even get that close to you. Pray you didn't catch some kind of flesh eating virus from that thing that you can't get rid of."

I just glared at him as I took a seat and flipped through the channels looking for something to watch. Just as I found a game on ESPN Embry walked back through the door with Sam, Paul and Jared.

"Hey guys, you'll never believe who was hugged all up on the rez's most disgusting." Quil blurted out before anyone could say anything.

"Who?" they all asked in unison.

"Well he's in this room and it's not me and it wasn't any of you...so..." he lingered on the end.

"Aww Jake, that's gross."

"Man, Bella's gonna kill you."

"That's a fight I want some popcorn for."

"Oh shut the hell up guys. I wasn't hugged up on Leah. She stopped me at the coke machine and then followed me back down here and threw herself on me when I wasn't looking." I explained while I rolled my eyes at them.

They all stared at me in disbelief as if I were trying to pull my brains out of my nose. I knew as soon as I said it, it sounded horrible.

"Right. And I turn into a werewolf when the moon comes out." Paul said.

"Well, okay then. We're gonna head down to La Push and have a couple of beers, do you all want to come?" Jared asked trying to detour the conversation.

I looked down and at my watch and saw that it was seven thirty. _Bella won't mind a couple of beers with the guys _I thought and nodded my head yes.

"Sure, I'll be right behind you guys. I just want to call and check on Claire real quick. She wasn't feeling well this morning when I left for work and I want to let her know where I'm going." Quil said as he stood and pulled his phone out of his pocket.

The rest of us headed out of the waiting room and down the corridor to the exit when I realized Embry wasn't walking with us.

"Hey Em, you coming or not, dude?" I asked stopping to turn and look at him.

"Nah, you guys go on. I'm gonna stay here and see what else the doctor has to say about when she can come back home. He said earlier they were going to keep her on the monitor to make sure the contractions were really just a false alarm and then she should be free to go. I'll catch you next time though." Embry replied as he let out a deep breath and ran his fingers threw his hair walking back to the double doors.

We turned and continued down to the exit and right to the parking lot. "Hey Jake, you think I can catch a ride?" Sam asked. "Sure man." I told him reaching across the truck and unlocking the door for him.

He climbed in and we headed down to La Push enjoying a conversation about nothing in particular. We talked about the shop and about Emily and the kids.

We reached the beach when the rain started pouring and decided to move our little shin-dig to Quil's house. It was just after ten when I remembered Bella had wanted to have a movie night tonight and thought it best to head home to see if I could salvage this evening with her.

~o0o~

"Bella let me explain." I said as I tried to rinse off quickly and get out of the shower.

"Save your words Jake, I don't need your pathetic explanation as to why you have some other women's number in you pocket. Do I look like I just fell from the stupid tree? " she yelled at me as she turned to walk out of the bathroom.

"Bella, just wait you don't understand." I stammered trying to wrap the towel around me and untangle myself from the shower curtain. I thought the shower had eased some of my drunkenness _but apparently not, _I realized as i did a face plant right in front of the toilet.

I picked myself up and ran half naked into my room where I found Bella throwing some jeans and a hoodie on over her 'night clothes'.

"Dammit Bella, just let me explain. We were at the hospital and I was getting a coke and then...ugh...and then she.....yuck.....and I _never_-"

"Save it Jacob. I don't need you to go any further. I know exactly whose number this is. It's Leah's isn't it?" she asked tears brimming in her eyes.

"Yes, but Bella it wasn't like that-"

"Damn you Jacob Black. I told you to save it. I don't want to hear another word from you about your little whore okay? Just leave me the hell alone." She yelled as she sat on the edge of the bed and hung her head into her hands.

"Bells, I'm sorry. Just..how did you know it was Leah's?" I asked curiously at this new found revelation.

"Everybody knows that two bit whore got a job there working in the nursery. I can't believe I was stupid enough to think you were different from all of your friends. I guess boys really do like to share everything." She said as tears trailed down her cheeks.

I wanted to go to her and wipe them away. I wanted to explain to her it wasn't what she thought. I wanted to hold her in my arms and make her see that I wasn't like the rest of them that passed Leah around like a rag doll. I just couldn't make myself move to the other side of the room to do these things.

"You need to leave." Bella said while getting up and going over to my dresser. She opened the drawer and started throwing my clothes all over the room.

"What?" _Oh great response oh mighty Jacob_. That was it. That was my great reply to Bella. To say I was a little dumbfounded by all the events that were taking place right now would be an understatement. _Man I wish this beer had worn off already. I can't seem to wrap my head around anything right now. _

"You heard me! Get out!" she yelled at me. She stopped throwing my things and turned to look at me, more tears streaming down her face.

"But Bella just listen to me. I didn't do anything wrong.I swear on-" this was frustrating. I didn't have a single leg to stand on in this conversation. She wouldn't let me finish anything I was saying and in all honesty, I didn't do anything.

"Don't you dare say you swear on your mother's grave Jacob. Don't you dare say that." she huffed and headed for the door. I blocked her way wanting to know where she was going.

"Well if you're not leaving, then I am." and with that Bella walked out of the house slamming the door behind her, leaving me to contemplate what the hell just happened.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

**BPOV**

I had no idea where I was going. I just knew I couldn't stay in there with Jacob any longer. I thought of going to Angela's but it was already pushing midnight. I stomped down the three steps from our porch right over to my car. I fumbled with the keys trying to unlock the door and finally managed to get it right and scramble into my car.

I banged my fists on the steering wheel and screamed threw gritted teeth while tears flowed of their own accord. I didn't need this right now. I didn't need this at all. I was twenty four freaking years old. We weren't in high school anymore and I just wished everything from back then would quit rushing to the forefront of my brain replaying images of Jacob's prom.

I sat there for who knows how long in the freezing cold before I turned the key in the ignition and backed out of the drive way and into the cold black night. I headed in no direction in particular, just driving just to drive. I looked down at the gas tank and saw that I was pushing pretty heavily on the big E. I pulled into the only twenty four hour place in this town and climbed out to go pay for my gas.

Undoubtedly my clumsiness wouldn't let me live a moment in peace because when I went to step on the curb in front of the store, I completely missed it and started falling forward until I face planted into someone's chest.

"I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to do that." I said, my cheeks burning a bright crimson as I looked up into a pair of emerald green eyes , a mess of bronze tousseled hair,and the most beautiful angelic face I've ever seen. The bone structure on this god was carved right out of Greek mythology.

_Gosh Bella you sound sooo smart. Really?! You didn't mean to do that?! Who goes around trying to face plant into people's chests?_

"Hey, no harm, no foul." he said in a velvet like voice that sent shivers down my spine as he stood me up right.

"Well once again, I'm sorry about that." I stammered trying to move past him and into the store to hide my embarrassment.

"It was nice to meet you...I'm sorry, I didn't catch your name." he said turning to look at me.

"That's because I didn't give it." I replied with a small smile, the heat brushing across my skin and settling in my cheeks once again.

"Well you have a nice night then stranger." the beautiful angel said with a smirk as he turned and headed for his car.

It was then that I noticed the shiny black Jaguar XK parked at the end of the store. I had a surge of rage run through my body and all I could see was red when I noticed who was in the passenger seat. Leah turned her head to me and gave me what I suppose was meant to be a boastful smile but it just distorted her features and made her even uglier than she already was. I flipped her the bird and let out a long breath I hadn't realized I was holding while I tried to regain some sort of self control. I needed to be able to think clearly and decide if what I really wanted to do was the right decision.

I wanted to scream. I wanted to walk over to that beautiful shiny car and rip her out of it. I wanted to tear her apart limb by limb for being able to make me this angry. By the time I realized my feet were moving me toward the car, the angelic being I had literally ran face first into was backing out and putting the car in drive.

I stopped dead in my tracks and realized I was about to make a really big mistake by attacking her out here in the middle of the night.

_That would have gone over smoothly. I can see it now, Chief Swan's daughter in the slammer for not being able to reign in her anger towards the biggest slut in town. Why does she always go for the beautiful ones? Why can't she just let me have a little peace with someone like that? Or Jake rather?_

I hurried into the store and payed for my gas, not really wanting to stop and talk to Jessica at the counter. We said our 'hello's' and 'how are you's' and I exited the store to go pump my gas. I got back in the car and headed once again for no where in particular.

As I drove I thought about all the things in our life that didn't make much sense to me. I had dated Jake since I was fifteen and he was fourteen. We were now both twenty four and living together. I loved the man with all my heart and couldn't understand why I had this nagging feeling that something wasn't where it belonged. I couldn't understand why after nine years of a relationship he still hadn't asked me to marry him. We certainly weren't getting any younger.

I had watched over the years as Sam and Emily, Embry and Jenni, Quil and Claire, and even Angela and Ben had all married and seemed rather content with their lives they were building together. _Always the bride's maid, never the bride. _

Was there something wrong with me? Was I good enough to live with and do everything for him but not good enough to marry? After all it was just making a big fuss over our love for each other in front of our friends and family and me getting to become Mrs. Jacob Black instead of Ms. Isabella Swan. Right?

I wanted us to be happy like our friends. I wanted the prospect of having children with this man. I wanted my happily ever after. Why was he so hell bent on not giving it to me?

I looked down at the clock and noticed it was almost three in the morning by the time I pulled up in the drive way in front of our small two bedroom house.

_Well this is going to be a great day with only three hours of sleep._ I'd have to get up earlier than usual and take a quick shower to wash my hair since I didnt' get around to it last night.

I strolled up to the house and tried to quietly open the door as to not wake Jake up. I hung my keys on the key holder and took off my hoodie as I started to make my way into the living room. I toed my shoes off and walked down the hall to the linen closet and grabbed a pillow and blanket. Going back to the couch to make up my make shift bed, I noticed a note on the coffee table from Jake.

_I'm sorry you didn't believe me, wake me up when you get here so I can explain things to you. ALways yours, Jake_

I was definitely not waking him up and I was definitely going to be gone before he got up in the morning. This whole mess of a night was not what I wanted to think about when I got up in the morning. I lay down on the couch and set my alarm on my phone to go off at five thirty instead of six so I could be up and gone before he had a chance to corner me into talking with him.

Thoughts of what my future might be, now ran through my head while I laid there and tried so desperately to go to sleep. I saw little copper skinned children running past me and into the woods near our house. I watched as Jake ran after them and laughter filled the small back yard and drifted off into the woods with my little family. I closed my eyes and let the images take their toll.

_Here I was laying on a towel on a sunny beach is god knows where, watching a beautiful little girl and a boy build a sand castle with a strangely familiar man. The boy looked about five years old and the girl looked about three. The boy had beautiful bronzed color hair and familiar green eyes. The little girl had long brown hair and...milk chocolate brown.....eyes... just like mine? _

_They looked up at me and the little girl smiled before running over to me, "Mommy, Mommy come and see the sand castle Riley and I just built with Daddy."_

_Mommy?! When did this happen?! Who are these people?! _

_I got up to walk with the little girl over to where her apparent brother and father were sitting beside a humongous sand castle. Just as I got next to them the man turned around and took my hand in his kissing every one of my fingers. I froze in my tracks when I realized this man was the man from the convinience store. _

_His green eyes smoldered with some emotion that was unknown to me at the moment. Adoration? Lust? Love? I was lost for words as he bent and placed a sweet kiss on my lips while murmuring he loved me. _

I sat straight up and realized I was soaking wet with sweat. I glanced down and saw that it was five-ten on my phone. _Might as well get up and move around._ I was beat. I couldn't imagine working the whole day being this tired. I would have to make it through some how, but in the mean time I really needed to figure out why in the world I'm dreaming about some guy I stumbled into when I don't even know his name.

I hurried through the shower and grabbed some charcoal grey slacks and a dark blue button up blouse to throw on before heading to the kitchen to grab a pop tart. I slipped into my black flats , grabbing my purse and coat as I ran out of the house after hearing Jake starting to move around the room. I would just have to do my hair and make up in the rest room at work.

**JPOV**

I sat there on the bed for what felt like forever. I never could understand why she always over reacted. She always went from one extreme to the next; flying from one end of the spectrum and hurling herself to the other end in point two seconds.

I loved Bella with every part of my being but I couldn't help the little flame of anger that ignited in me when she acted like this. Sure, I forgot about the movie night, and yes there was the other phone number, but there was nothing that cold make me want anything other than Bella. She seemed so insecure at times; like she was a scared little puppy wandering the streets of NYC alone trying not get stepped on by passersby.

I let out an exasperated sigh as I drug a hand over my face. I knew there was a good chance she was coming back_, where else could she go?_ When things like this happened in the past, she would always leave and go to Angela's, but eyeing the clock I knew it was too late for that option.

I finally decided to lift myself off the bed and get dressed. I walked over to the pile of clothes on the floor and a pair of boxers and pulled them on. I went to the kitchen and grabbed a bottle of water out of the fridge.

I opened the bottle and started drinking it on my way out of the kitchen when I stopped next to the counter and eyed a postcard that had a picture of a wedding cake on it. I stopped drinking and lifted the card to flip it over. I was a little stunned when I noticed it was addressed to Bella.

This surprised me a little because I had no idea that Bella had been thinking about weddings or getting married. I chalked it up to research for things at the book store. She had been looking into ways of getting more people interested in coming in.

I put the card back on the counter and walked back into the bedroom, water in hand. I went over to my nightstand and opened the drawer. I moved all of the papers to the side and found what I was looking for.

A small velvet blue box sat in the back corner of the drawer. I lifted it from the drawer and stared at it for a moment before opening it. Nestled inside of the blue velvet was a fourteen karat white gold, Ikuma Canadian half carat diamond solitaire ring.

It was simple. It wasn't a flamboyant, lavish ring that I had to save years and years for. Okay, so maybe not like ten years or anything, but I had been picking up extra shifts at the shop and even doing side jobs to pay for it for the past year and a half.

That wasn't really the point though. The meaning behind the ring was so much more than any extra labor I had to do.

It meant that I was sure of Bella. It meant that I had found the one that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. It meant that for the rest of my days I wanted her face to be the last thing I saw when I closed my eyes and the first I saw when I opened them once again.

I wasn't exactly sure when I had decided this, but I had been thinking about it for a while. The only thing left to do was figure out when I should give it to her. I had been holding onto the ring for three months already waiting for the perfect moment.

I couldn't figure out when exactly that would be, but felt that I would know it when it came. It just hadn't happened yet. We were always tired from a hard days work or caught up in what was going on around us that we never seemed to find that special time.

I stared at the ring for what seemed like hours before I closed the lid and placed the box back in the drawer to await that right moment.

I stood and walked back into the kitchen to write her a note. I hated going to sleep with things like this between us, but from past experiences such as these, I knew it was pointless to wait up for her to finally show her face.

I wrote a quick note and laid it on the coffee table for her to find before I made my way back to the bed and laid down. I closed my eyes and drifted off into a deep sleep.

I woke up to the sound of the pantry door being closed in the kitchen. I slightly lifted my head off of the pillow and opened an eye to peek at Bella's side of the bed. Her pillow looked untouched and her side of the comforter was still unwrinkled.

I figured she had slept on the couch and laid my head back down, letting out a deep breath and closing my eyes once agian.

I decided now was a good time to get out of bed since I had to make it to the shop early enough to open this morning. I rolled over and sat up on the edge placing my feet on the hard wood floor below.

I stood and walked over to the pile of clothes on the floor to find a t-shirt. I found one and pulled it over my head and started for the door so I could catch her before she left, but as I pulled the door open to our room I heard the front door open and slam shut.

_Great, now I have to wait all day. _I walked out of the room and went to the kitchen to start some coffee. After I finished that, and I was waiting for it to finish I decided to get dressed and go through my morning routine of brushing my teeth, washing my face and shaving.

I went back to the kitchen to get my coffee and sit for a moment before leaving. The coffee tasted horrible and so I just sat._ I really wished Bella would have made coffee before she left. Now I'm gonna be really exhausted today. _

I decided I would just have to do my best to make it through this day without biting too many heads off.

I got up and grabbed my keys off of the key holder on my way out of the door,locking it behind me.

I climbed in the truck and made my way down the road to the shop. I was a little suprised when I saw Sam out front but let it go seeing as he _did_ own the shop.

I parked in the back and climbed out still a little curious about his being here so early as I made my way around to the front.

"I'm sorry we're closed, sir. I'm sure you could find a cheaper mechanic somewhere in this small town. The owner charges way too much, and the work is pretty shitty here." I joked as I approached him reaching out for a hand shake.

He chuckled and returned the gesture appreciatively.

"I hope you really don't say that to customers, or you should start looking for a new job at one of those _cheaper_ mechanics you mentioned." he replied, stuffing his hands in his pockets.

"I was only kidding. You know we're probably the cheapest in town, and not wanting to boost my own ego or anything, but our work is hands down, far better than anything you could find in a hundred miles." I stopped not really sure how to ask why he was here today, but figured I should just spit it out. "Not to sound obnoxious, but why are you here? It's not your day to open the shop up." I said with a worried tone.

"I know,I was actually coming to tell you not to open up this morning." My brow furrowed and I was about to ask what was wrong when he started again. "Embry called and said that when they made it home last night, Jenni started not feeling well. He was thinking of taking her back to the hospital when her water broke. " he told me anxiously.

"Oh, well has she had the baby yet?" I asked. "Not yet, but he kind of hinted at having all of us there for it. You know, since her sister can't make it and he doesn't have any familiy besides us. He said she wouldn't be much longer. We should really get up there. " he explained while heading toward his car.

"Alright, I'll follow you up there." I called over my shoulder as I walked back to my truck. I climbed in and followed Sam to the hospital, feeling very keyed up about the arrival of my best friend's first born child.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3  
**

**BPOV**

When I made it to work I had just enough time to put on some lip gloss and dry my hair. I pulled it back into a messy bun and decided it would have to do for the day. Angela was setting up the cash register when I came out of the back.

"Hey Bella, would you mind shelving the new books we just got in? I would have done it, but this dumb computer won't work right for some reason." Angela asked. I didn't mind diong these kinds of things in my own book store. I had only hired Angela for some extra help and to give her something to do other than sit at home alone all day.

"Sure that's no problem, let me just go get all of them from the back," I said in what I hoped was a cheerful tone.

I walked to the back and grabbed a box of the new books and walked back out to the front. Angela eyed me warily, taking in what I suppose was an awful looking Bella this morning.

I was never what some would call beautiful; I was plain with long brown hair, dull brown eyes, and pale white skin. I had a small petite build, but nothing extravagant in the assets department. Take all of that into account with not much sleep and crying my eyes out last night, I was sure I looked hideous.

I set the box down next to a row of book shelves and turned to ask her how Ben was doing when she spoke before I had a chance. "Bella is something wrong? You look like you had a rough night."

I blushed slightly knowing that there was no reason to even try to tell a small white lie, she saw through me like an open window.

I walked over to the counter and leaned against it placing my face in my hands. "I don't know what to do," I started, not knowing where to begin with my feelings. "I don't know if Jake's cheating on me or not, but I'm just tired of it always being like this. It frustrates me beyond belief that every single one of our friends are married, and he shows no sign of changing our status anywhere in the near future. Don't get me wrong, I'm happy for all of you, but I just feel like after so many years, we're at a stand still." I blurted out, not knowing whether or not to include my dream about my green eyed stranger.

"Bella, it's understandable to feel this way sometimes. But go back to the cheating thing-do you really think he would do that?" she asked looking a little disbelieving. I went on to tell her everything that happened last night; about our fighting and me leaving, about seeing Leah at the store, and even my dream.

"Well, if you think it could help both of you by having some breathing space and time to sort things out, you can always come and stay with Ben and me. Or, we have his mother's little house that isn't being used anymore, I'm sure Ben wouldn't mind letting you stay there until you get everything situated." she looked a little cautious before adding, "but Bella, I really don't think Jacob would go for something as dirty as Leah Clearwater. And don't worry about the dream thing, it happens to me too." she told me calmly.

"Thanks, Angela, I really appreciate your offer, and if Ben won't mind, I think I'll being taking you up on it. It won't be for long, just long enough to sort things out about what I really want. I'll pay you whatever you want as far as rent. I really hate to impose like that." I told her, feeling a little relief. She embraced me in a hug which I appreciatively returned.

"It's no problem Bella, and you won't be imposing, so no need to worry about paying us anything. That's what friends are for, remember?" she said.

Just as I was turning to go back to the box of books, the phone rang. Angela answered it quickly, "Just Us Books, this is Angela, how can I help you? ....Ok, hold on for a moment, please....thank you. " she turned to me and said, "It's Emily. She says it's important."

I walked back over to the counter and took the phone from Angela. "Hey, Emily, what's up?" I asked, hoping I didn't sound too worried. "Hey, Bella, not much. I just thought I'd let you know that Jenni's here at the hospital and she's asking when you're going to get here. I figured Jacob probably forgot to call you and tell you, but her contractions are getting closer together and alot more frequent if you'd like to be here for the birth. Everyone else is already here, we're kinda just twiddling our thumbs, but she really wants you here, seeing as she's closer to you than anyone else." Emily said calmly.

She was right. I don't know why Jenni and I got along so well, we just clicked. It was like friends at first sight or something. I had thrown her a baby shower a few weeks ago. With the help of Jake of course, seeing as it was more of a bar-b-que with gifts than a baby shower for couples. It ended in a bonfire down on the beach that night. It was one of those nights I truly enjoyed being a part of this 'family'.

"Yeah Emily, let me talk to Ang real fast to see if she'll mind me cutting out on her today, and I'll be there as soon as I can." I told her, already too excited to see one of my best friend's little miracles.

I hung up with her and turned to Angela just in time to see her roll her eyes playfully and wave her hand dismissively. "Go, I can handle things here. Tell them I said congratulations. Oh and Bella, try to be happy. Don't let anything bother you today. Everything will work out for the best," she said with a smile.

"Thanks Ang, you're the best," I said as I launched myself over the counter and embraced her in the biggest hug I could manage. She just smiled and patted me on the back.

I ran to the back of the store to grab my bag and coat, trying not to trip over anything on my way. I sprinted through the store rather gracefully for being me, and made it to my car in no time. I shoved the key in the ignition and took off for the hospital, rather excited to be heading there for once.

When I walked into the maternity wing I looked around and saw no one at first. I rounded the doorway to the father's waiting room to find everyone there, except for Jake and Embry.

They all greeted me with hugs and soft shoulder punches while I tried to return them enthusiastically. "When I made my way around to Emily, I asked where Jacob was, and noticed how the room suddenly grew very quiet.

" Uhh, he's around at the nursery with Embry," Paul replied, not wanting to meet my gaze. I got the oddest feeling that something was going usaid, but not sure what it was. "Thanks," I told them and turned to start my way down to the nursery.

When I rounded the corner, everything in my line of sight became red. I felt the tears start brimming in my eyes and turned to run out of the hospital when Jake looked up and caught my eye. He pushed Leah off of his lap and started after me, yelling my name. But I was already gone.

**JPOV**

I walked in the hospital following Sam around to the maternity wing where mostly everyone already was. I took a seat next to Quil and leaned back to shut my eyes for a few minutes. I had never had a baby before, but if Sam and Emily gave any inclination as to how long this was going to take, we were going to be here for a while.

"So where are your kids, Em?" Claire asked, breaking the silence that was stifling in the room.

"Oh, they're with Sue and Billy, they offered to keep them while we were here, as long as we keep them informed of what's going on." Emily answered quickly.

The women then went on talking about kids and babies, and whatever else. I was really in no mood to listen or add any input. I asked where Embry was, and was informed he was supposed to be at the nursery. I walked down and took a seat next to him across from the big wall-sized window.

"Well, it looks like today's the big day," I said while offering him a soft shoulder punch.

"Yeah, I know," Embry replied, staring at the baseboard across from him.

"What's wrong, Em? You should be excited, not looking like a dead man walking the green mile." I told him, curious as to why he was acting so down.

"I don't know dude, I'm happy but...to be completely honest, I'm scared out my fuckin mind. I don't know the first thing about babies, and Jenni seems so happy and excited. I'm trying to be that for her as well, but I feel like I'm jumping over the edge of a cliff not knowing if I'm gonna land on my feet or crash face first. " he said.

I was probably the last person he should be talking to about this. But as his friend I let him get it all out before I said anything. I sat there for close to twenty minutes listening to him go on and on about his insecurities.

"but look at me." he continued, "I'm not someone who should be having a kid, I probably wouldn't shower or brush my teeth on a regular basis if it weren't for Jenni. There's nothing that I can do or teach our baby. I don't even know how to hold one." He finished with a deep sigh, while raking his fingers through his hair.

"Look, you'll do great. Sam was the same way when Emily had Maggie. He didn't know the head from the bottom. But he's a great dad just like you'll be. It'll take some getting used to, but you're going to do fine. As far as not teaching her anything or doing anything, teach her what you know. She'll be ok, and so will you." I told him trying to sound encouraging.

"Yeah, all I know is cars, and I'm sure Jenni would be thrilled when her little girl comes home telling her she can rebuild a transmission." he scoffed. I just crossed my arms and rolled my eyes.

Just as I was about to open my mouth and tell him not to sweat the small things, I turned to see Leah heading towards us. I let out a deep breath and turned back to Embry, only to find him looking in the same direction and starting to stand.

Leah walked over and smiled at Embry, who in turn just walked off back towards Jenni's room. I glared at his retreating form, trying to burn holes in the back of his head, but only succeeding in having a small headache from the squinting.

I was about to get up and walk back towards the waiting room, but Leah suddenly plopped herself down on my lap, leaning in and laying her arm over my shoulders.

"The guys told me you were down here, and I just wanted to say hi. You never let me tell you bye properly last night, so I thought I would come and at least make up for it." she said.

I recoiled from her words, and tried to shrink back into the chair when I noticed Bella round the corner out of the corner of my eye. I pushed Leah off of my lap, which caused her to land on her ass on the floor. "That's real fucking cute Leah, thanks a fucking lot." I told her. I called for Bella to wait, but she was already out of the big double doors when I made it out of my seat.

I raced after her as if my life depended on it. I knew she would be hurt, but I needed to explain everything....if she'd even give me a chance. This looked just like what she always thought, but it couldn't have been farther from the truth.

I made my way out of the hospital, my eyes searching restlessly for Bella. She was no where in sight. I was about to walk over to her car, when I heard what sounded like someone vomiting in the bushes just around the corner.

I walked over cautiously, not knowing if it was Bella or not. I felt so many different things when I laid eyes on her bent over holding onto a tree, heaving everything she had in her out with every retch.

I felt happy that I had found her and didn't have to go hunt her down. I felt angry at Leah for doing this crap again. I felt dissapointed in myself for not making it clear to Leah in the first place that I would never want her, nor would I ever touch her, even with someone else's hands. I felt saddened that this is what my actions, or lack there of, had caused Bella. But most of all I felt hurt that Bella didn't trust me enough to know that she was all I ever wanted.

I took a deep breath and walked over to her placing my hand on the small of her back, but she jerked away from me.

"Don't touch me-don't you dare put your fucking hands on me now, Jacob." she growled at me, while trying to suck in deep breaths.

I backed away from her, not knowing what to say or do. I felt a deep ache in my heart as my stomach churned at her words. I knew it would be like this, but I couldn't bring myself to not hope for a different reaction. I figured angry, not sick.

"Bella, it wasn't at all what it looked like, you've got to believe me. I would never touch her like that. Please Bells, you've got to listen to me," I pleaded, not sure if my words would help anything.

Bella rose from her slumped over position and glared daggers at me. All of a sudden, her face went calm, showing no emotion what so ever. This scared me a little bit, not really sure what to expect next.

"It's fine. I was wanting to talk to you about this anyway. I'm moving out. We're done," she said, and started to walk past me, when I reached out and grabbed her elbow.

"Wait Bella, you can't just say something like that and walk away when you don't even know what happened," I told her, hoping she would listen to me.

"Let go of my arm now Jake, and yes, I can say something like that. You expect me to over look this and be ok with it. _Seriously?_ I'll have my stuff out tomorrow, but for tonight I'll be at Angela's." she replied as I let go of her arm.

For some reason, her words cut deep and I couldn't hold my anger back anymore. That small flicker of a flame I had been feeling was an all bright explosion now, igniting everything in its path.

"Yes, I can expect you to over look it. You over react about this shit all the time Bella, and I'm sick of it. I didn't do a damn thing wrong, and you walk in there all high and mighty, thinking you know what the hell is going on when you don't know shit. I wouldn't ever touch that sleazy bitch, but undoubtedly you seem to think I would. I _thought_ I had better taste than that, seeing as I've been with you for the past nine years. I guess I was wrong. I guess you know every fucking thing about me, don't you? You know me better than I know myself. Thank God for Isabella fucking Swan, because if it weren't for her, I wouldn't know my head from my ass," I yelled at her, while she looked at me with wide eyes.

She lifted her hand and slapped me across my face. My head jerked to the side from the impact. I couldn't help but feel a little pride that she could put that much force behind it, even though my right cheek stung a little.

"How dare you. You don't even get it," she snapped. "It isn't all about Leah, it's you, Jake. You don't care enough to look past yourself to see what I want. You're selfish for that. I wanted a life with you, but everytime I turn around, you're being felt on by some cheap skank and I'm left to drown in my insecurities alone, with no hope of you throwing me a life preserver. Just leave it alone already Jake, you can't even realize how bad you've fucked this up." she yelled back, while turning to walk away.

"That great Bells, just run away like you always do. You can never just face your problems head on." She stopped and turned around like she was going to say something, but I was on a roll and kept going. "And _I _fucked this up? You and your damn insecurities ruined this shit. I love you Bella, but you're too blinded by your stupid doubts to realize that. I didn't ruin this, you and your bullshit did. I'm not the selfish one here Bella, you are. You and all your self pity," I seethed, looking up to see Quil come out of the sliding doors of the hospital.

He spotted us and walked over cautiously, looking as if he were intruding on a private moment. Bella followed my gaze with her own, and noticed him just as he stopped a few feet away. Anyone with any sense could tell that we were arguing by looking at my stance or Bella's.

Her face was streaked with tears, and she had her arms crossed over her chest, as if she were cradling herself. I had one hand stuffed in the pocket of my jeans while raking the other one down my face and then through my hair.

"Hey guys, just thought I'd let you know Jenni just popped that little melon out. She was curious why Bella hadn't made it into the room yet, but Embry told her not to worry, that you'd be in there just as soon as you could manage. They should be taking her into the nursery any minute," he said now looking at Bella.

"I'll go and see her now," she said, looking at the ground. I knew she felt the same as I did, upset for missing out on the birth of their baby for this heated argument.

Quil turned and started to go back in the hospital at the same time we did, staying between us.

"Bella wait," I said, about to attempt an apology for all of the things I had just said.

"Leave it alone, Jacob. Like I said, it's over," she replied with no emotion coating her vioce, as she walked away from me.

I stopped dead in my tracks and hit my knees, feeling like my world just fell completely apart.


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: Thanks to all of you who are reading, even if you aren't reviewing. I was really nervous about posting this, but ThatPanicGirlE made me so happy, I wanted to get on with the story. This might be a good place to inject a disclaimer:**

**DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN TWILIGHT OR ANYTHING RELATED TO IT, ****I DO HOWEVER HAVE THREE BEAUTIFUL CHILDREN WHO REFUSE TO GO TO BED, THUS MAKING IT HARD TO CONCENTRATE. :i**

**BTW: If you have any suggestions as far as music that helps you write, they would be greatly appreciated, seeing as I suck at picking out music. Oh, and one more thing, umm, probably not going to be lemons in the story itself, I'll do outtakes for that if they're really wanted. **

**Maybe.**

**Maybe just throw them in there.**

**Who knows.**

**But for right now, RATED M FOR LANGUAGE,****maybe a little violence****.**

**Chapter 4**

**BPOV**

Quil wrapped his arm around my shoulders as we walked back into the hospital. "It'll be okay Bella, he really didn't have any business doing whatever it was he was doing anyway," he said, as I chanced a look back at a broken Jake, slumped over pulling at his hair.

I wasn't happy that this is how it ended, I thought we could have done this like to grown adults. I was angry that he was trying to make this my fault, but at the same time hurt by the words that came out of his mouth.

Maybe he was right, maybe it was all my fault. But why wouldn't I be insecure when he was like the finest bottle of Chateau Lafite and I was a box of Franzia you get at the grocery store.

I didn't respond to Quil's comment, instead choosing to let him console me by rubbing my arm. _Besides, what could I say?_ He had just pretty much confirmed all of my suspicions, not that I needed them confirmed.

We were making our way down the hall, when I stopped in front of the coke machines. Quil turned and looked at me a little confused by my hault, but I just told him that I was thirsty and would meet him down at the nursery.

He just nodded and offered up a small smile before turning to keep walking. I wasn't thirsty at all. I just didn't want to go down there and face all of our friends-Jacob's friends- with tear streaks down my face.

I couldn't help but find myself a little bitter towards all of them right now anyway, seeing as they were all keeping this from me. Now I understood why everyone grew so quiet earlier when I asked about Jake.

I fished five quarters out of my pocket, put them into the coke machine and pressed the button. I didn't really want it, but I had told Quil that I was thirsty, so I decided to just go with it.

When I bent over to grab my coke I noticed a pair of shoes out of the corner of my eye, standing rather close to me. I stood up only to be met with a pair of emerald green eyes. I felt the sheet of pink flowing up my chest and settling on my cheeks at the memory of my dream.

"Hey stranger, no face plants today?" he asked as he leaned his upper body against the machine.

It took me a moment to resurface, after swimming in those deep green pools, and realize he was talking to me. "Uh, I'm sorry what was that?" I asked, not having heard the question, only seeing his mouth moving.

"Nothing," he chuckled and gave a boyish smirk, before continuing, "I was just saying it's nice to see you again."

"Oh yeah, well it's nice to see you again, too. Better face to face rather than face to chest, although any way really works for me." I rambled. _Why did you just say that? Now he's going to think you're some weird desperate girl who goes around falling all over guys just to meet them._ I felt the flames ignite over my skin again.

"Well, that's nice to know," he said smirking again. "So what brings you to this part of the hospital? You don't look like you're one of the usual patients," he finished while eyeing me thoroughly.

"What? Oh no, my friend just had a baby. I was on my way down to see her," I said looking down while running my finger around the top of my coke bottle.

"Oh, well by all means, don't let me keep you. I was just on my way out and figured I would stop and see if I could catch your name since I didn't get to last night," he replied.

"My name.... Right, my name." I stammered, willing this small piece of imformation to come back to me. "Umm, Isabella. But most people just call me Bella. You know, for short. Like Will for William, or Alex for Alexandra...." I trailed off once I realized I was rambling again. If I had thought I couldn't get any redder, I was proven wrong at this moment.

"So, Bella," my name rolled off his tongue like silk. "Is there a last name to accompany such a beautful name like that?" he asked very coolly.

"Umm, yeah, Swan. Like the bird." I replied, chancing a glimpse into the emerald pools again.

"Isabella Swan. Very fitting. It's nice to have a name to put to such a beautiful face. Thank you Bella, for allowing me this knowledge," he stated.

I smiled at him shyly and simply nodded, partly because I didn't know what else to say, and also because I didn't trust my brain filter to be fully functional at this moment.

Just when I thought I had it all under control and was about to speak, we were interrupted by the P.A. system calling for Dr. Cullen to return to O.B.

"Well, that's me, so I'd better get going, once again it's wonderful to finally put a name to a face around here. Oh, and tell your friend she has a beautiful healthy daughter," he said, while turning to head through the big double doors.

I watched as he walked away, realizing then that he must be the new OB-GYN. "Wait, Dr. Cullen," I called, "doesn't it seem a little odd you know my name, but I don't know yours?" I asked.

"Edward, Bella. It's Edward." he replied, glancing back at me and offering a smile as he kept walking.

"Edward," I breathed, now happy to finally have a name to put to the face as well.

I was broken from my thoughts as Jacob came into my periphery. "Bella, we need to talk, it shouldn't have happened that way," he pleaded, but I was in no mood to deal with his crap anymore.

"I don't want to talk about it anymore, but do me a favor? Tell Jenni I'll come see her tomorrow, I'm not feeling well anymore," I told him still staring down the hall Edward had just gone down.

"Yeah, sure." he said sourly, looking down at his feet, making scuff marks on the white tile floor. "Thanks," I said, turning to face him and offering a tight smile before leaving.

**JPOV**

I had never been so broken before. I shouldn't have said such ugly things to her, but she's just so stubborn sometimes. She never sees her self the way I see her. I hope that in time, whether it's with or without me, she can come to see herself in that light.

If there was one thing I knew not to throw at her, it was her insecurities. Usually that was a fast track to sleeping on the couch for a week. I just never thought it would happen like this. I was so sure.

I was sure of Bella, of us. How could it all just fall apart so fast? I decided I should stop trying to pull my hair out and see if I could take back what just happened. I got up and went to her, not knowing what to say.

I tried pleading with her, to no avail. She decided to leave, stating she didn't feel well. I couldn't help but think it was my fault she didn't want to see her friend. I watched as she walked away and turned into the women's restroom.

I was going to start down the hall towards Jenni's room, when I caught a glimpse of Leah and Paul come around the corner by the restroom. Leah stopped in front of the restroom and turned to say something to Paul before entering.

I was a little puzzled as to why she would go into the public restroom, nurses had their faculty ones in their specified departments. The next thing I heard let me know all too well why she had picked this particular one. Bella.

There was a loud bang and two people arguing, that I was almost certain could be heard anywhere on the first floor of the hospital. I ran down the hall to the women's restroom, not sure what I would do, but couldn't stand the thought of Leah being ugly to my Bella.

Ok, well I guess she isn't really _my_ Bella anymore, but still she didn't deserve this.

I stopped in front of the door, not sure whether to wait out here in the hall, or go into the forbidden territory of the women's restroom. I glanced at Paul as if to ask _should we?, _only to have the look returned to me.

When we heard what sounded like metal hitting the floor, we both burst through the door without a second were floored by the scene in front of us. Bella was holding Leah by the hair on her head. Leah was slumped over on the floor with blood running down her face to her scrubs while Bella stood over her. Never loosening her grip on her hair, she drove her fist into Leah's face repeatedly while Leah tried to undo Bella's hand in her hair.

It took Paul and me a few seconds to understand what we needed to do, and fast before anyone came in here and saw this. I grabbed Bella up in a tight hold around her waist while Paul tried to loosen her grip on Leah's hair.

He grabbed a hold of Leah's shoulder to keep her down in her position on the floor, just so she didn't try to get to Bella again, but that proved to be less effective than anything. Bella still refused to let go while simultaneously trying to kick at Leah.

There were so many f-bombs and other four letter words dropping from her mouth that I felt a little ashamed that I ever used that kind of language around her. I tried to pull Bella further against my chest, raising her up higher, but everytime I did this it caused Leah to come up out of her sitting position.

Finally she was standing and Bella just let go. Before we had a chance to react, she shot her leg out at Leah's face and made contact with her nose once again.

Paul grabbed Leah and pinned her against the wall, putting himself between her and us. I then lowered Bella down keeping an arm around her waist.

"Look what you did to my nose you little bitch! How am I supposed to explain this?" Leah shrieked.

"Tell them the truth, tell them your face met a paper towel dispenser, you stupid whore," Bella seethed.

"That's enough, Jake get Bella out of here, before someone decides to call her dad, I'll get Leah cleaned up and take her home," Paul said, still restraining Leah against the wall.

"Oh, I'm definitely calling Chief Swan about this," Leah announced while trying to stare daggers at us.

"Call my dad, I seriously doubt he would arrest me for fucking you up," Bella scoffed at her.

"Can it Leah, if you haven't noticed yet, no one really gives a shit about what you have to say, so why don't you do us all a favor and shut the hell up?!" I told her while guiding Bella to the door.

We made it out of the restroom, where Bella immediately shrugged my arm off her waist. "Thanks, but I can drive myself home," she said, turning her back to me and walking away.

"I know but I said I would, so just let me do this one last thing," I told her trying to catch up to her.

I was hoping once I got her in the car she would let me talk, it's not like she would jump out of the car and take off on me, you know?!

She stopped and looked up at me with what seemed like a conflicted expression as if she were searching for something in my face. Finally, she rolled her eyes, and took her keys out of her pocket and placed them in my upturned palm. I flashed her the best Jacoby smile I could manage and walked her outside to her car.

The ride home was anything but eventful. I didn't get to say anything to her because everytime I tried, she just turned up the radio. I knew I could have turned it down, but I figured I would just let her sulk for a little while longer.

I wanted to know what started everything with Leah, and secretly, where she learned how to bloody a nose like that.

We pulled up in front of the house where Bella opened her door to get out as soon as I had the car in park. She bounded up the steps tripping on the last one. I climbed out of the car and made my way over to her where she sat. I took a seat next to her and sat quietly trying to get my thoughts in order.

"I didn't hit her because of you," she said barely audibly. "I'm just tired of letting her make me feel this way. She started telling me about everthing you two have done, and I just couldn't take it anymore."

"Bella you have to know, that all of that was a lie." I told her, willing her to look at me, but she just stared at the bottom step.

"It doesn't matter now Jake, it's all done and over with. I just know now that it wasn't meant to be." she replied shakily, finally meeting my gaze.

We sat there for what seemed like hours looking into each other's eyes, pleading with the other to see it from our point. She finally broke her gaze and stood up stretching her arms over her head.

"I'll get my bag and then I'll be headed to Angela's," she added, finally breaking the silence that was so deafening on the porch.

I didn't move to follow her, knowing that it would only make it that much harder for both of us. Instead I stayed on the step and watched the sun start to slowly sink behind the clouds. I hadn't realized how much of the day was lost to these cataclysmic events.

I guess we sat on the porch for longer than I realized. The air was getting cooler and the sky started to embrace the colors of yet another end to another day. For once, is wasn't raining and under any other circumstances, I may have enjoyed sitting here watching this sun set.

I leaned on the siding of the house and remembered the day we first moved in here.

~o0o~

We had finished carrying in the last of the boxes and were deciding what to eat for dinner.

It was either Pacific Pizza, the Smoke House, or Mill Creek Bar and Grill. It didn't really matter to me what we ate, seeing as I could eat anything. I would have much rather have had Bella's cooking, but decided it was best not to ask her since she was probably worn out from moving everything.

We had been hoping for a day like this for a long time. Every time we decided our moving day it seemed to rain. When we woke up that morning, the sun was shining through our curtains, and we each glanced at each other with one eye. When we realized that it wasn't raining, we both threw back the covers and started darting around the house as if we in search of the Holy Grail.

We threw on what clothes we could find and I started loading the truck with different boxes and things, not sure when to expect a down pour to start. Bella was on the phone explaining to Angela and Sam that we were moving today and wouldn't be in to work. Neither one minded and wished us good luck with our new place.

Quil and Embry showed up not long after she got off the phone, quickly followed by Paul and Jared. We managed to get everything packed and moved with the help of our friends in one day.

I had never been so grateful to these guys as I was that day. We drank a few beers on the porch after all of the big stuff was moved and Bella insisted she could handle the few small boxes that were left.

After about an hour and a half, the guys all went home, leaving me alone with my woman and our new home. We sat on the porch for a bit watching the sun set behind the trees and talking about nothing and everything.

We finally ordered pizza and sat on the porch eating it together. Neither one of us making a move to go in the house until the sun went completely down and the temperature slightly dropped. It was another end to yet another perfect day in my life with Bella.

~o0o~

I was brought back to my now-reality by Bella dropping her huge duffel bag on the porch and closing the door behind her. She glanced down at me as I turned to see her face. She picked up the bad and stepped closer to me. I was hoping to find some clue as to how she feeling at that moment, but once again found that calm and collected look.

I tried one more time to convince her to stay by telling her it didn't have to be this way, but she simply said, "If anything Jake, we just need time to see what it is we really want out of life," as she walked down the steps and over to her truck.

At that moment, I realized the significance of what was happening. Not only was she walking to her truck to leave. She was leaving me. And walking out of my life for good.

**A/N: I do have a song that goes with this chapter, it's Maybe by Secondhand Serenade. If you haven't heard it, you might want to..just a suggestion. Oh, and that little green button right there, yeah , right below this...it was made to be clicked on. So....if you would be so kind, please click and review. Thanks for reading.**


	5. Chapter 5

**DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN TWILIGHT OR ANY THING RELATED TO IT, BUT I DO HOWEVER HAVE A NEW LITTLE LAPTOP THAT I ENJOY CARRYING AROUND EVERYWHERE. :d**

**A/N: Once again thanks for reading, I really do appreciate it. My fiance thought I was nuts when I started bouncing at the table earlier. Quick thought, pretty much all of Secondhand Serenade's CD A Twist In My Story goes really good with the gist of the story so far. If you haven't listened, you might try it. Let me know what you think.**

**Chapter 5**

**BPOV**

I climbed in my car and started down the road. I was relieved when I made it all the way to Angela's without breaking down crying at all. I told her all about what had happened, to which she informed me that she was happy to have me at her house, but thought I was being too hard on him.

I didn't argue the point with her, I just went on to tell her about my encounter with that of the skanky kind in the bathroom. She was rather surprised by the fact that I was able to stay vertical through all of it, as was I.

I explained how I was trying to wash my face and Leah came in running her mouth about all the things her and Jake had done. Leah had continued on to say she couldn't understand how Jake was able to sleep with someone like me.

That was when I had finally turned and grabbed her by the back of her head slamming it into the paper towel dispenser. Angela got a big kick out of it, and said she wished she had been a fly on the wall in that restroom. I finished telling her about the horrible events, and decided to call it a night.

She told me she would cover the shop tomorrow so I could start moving all of my things before closing the door and turning off the light.

The next day I woke up extremely sore. My arms felt like they had been pulled in the opposite direction of the other simultaneously. I took advantage of the hot water in the shower, letting it relax my muscles until they were as close to mush as possible.

I dressed and blow dried my hair before leaving the house to gather my things from Jake's. I was pretty sure he wouldn't be at work yet, so I rode around and saw the very few sights that Forks has to offer. I don't guess the grocery store can really be considered a sight, but I saw it quite a bit on my caravaning about the town.

I decided it would be good to finally get over to the hospital to see Jenni, since I was such a mess yesterday and just couldn't manage a visit with her. I pulled into the parking lot and parked next to a shiny black Jaguar. I was pretty sure it was the same one had been driving the other day. I blushed slightly when I thought about our conversation yesterday.

It had just started to rain when I pulled in the parking lot and I was glad I didn't do anything spectacular with my hair. I grabbed a hair band from around the gear shift and pulled my hair up into a messy bun before darting out into the rain. I wiped as much water off myself as I could, and strolled into the hospital looking like a drowned rat.

I had so much going on yesterday that Ihad no clue what room Jenni was in. I walked up to the pink ladies' desk and asked what room belonged to Jenni Call.

"I'm sorry, Jenni's gone home already," said a velvety voice from behind me. I spun around too fast to see who was there. I started to slip, when my green eyed angel reached out, grabbing my left arm in one hand while placing his other hand on my waist. He righted me quickly, but let his hands linger where they were.

"We really have to stop meeting like this, you know?" he said with a smirk."I'm sorry, that was very cliché, wasn't it?"

"Umm, yeah. I mean no," I let out a deep breath before continuing, "Yes to the first...and...maybe to the second....?" I replied slightly flustered.

"Well, either way," he chuckled."Umm, there was something I was meaning to talk to you about, if you don't mind, that is." he said sounding apprehensive.

"Okay, yeah. Sure," I answered as he led me to some near by chairs to sit.

"I know this may seem a little forward of me," he spoke so low, I had to strain to hear him, "but I don't know many people around this area since I just became an attending here. I was just curious if you would like to have coffee with me sometime...if that's okay. Because if it's not, then I completely would understand. I just thought since I was new here, and you seemed like a nice girl, maybe we could-" he was babbling. I raised my hand to quiet him.

I was having a hard time comprehending what was happening. I took a moment to gather my thoughts before I asked, "Are you asking me out?" _Oh how I hope he's asking me out. _

_Wait I can't do that. _

_No. No, I don't want him asking me out right now, it hasn't even been twenty-four hours since I left Jake. _

_Please be asking me out._

"Listen Edward, you seem like a nice guy, but I just broke up with my boyfriend yesterday, and I can't really do the whole 'coffee' thing," Plus, didn't I see you with that chick Leah the other day?" I asked, feeling a rather bold.

He scoffed and turned his head to the side smirking. When he looked back at me, I felt unquestionably abashed about the outburst I had just made to a complete stranger.

"Uh, Bella. All I'm asking is for coffee. I'm not asking to woo your little heart away, he said quirking an eyebrow at me, "Although, if you just broke up, maybe you could use some wooing. As far as Leah and I, she asked for a ride home. My mother always taught me to be chivalrous, so when she asked, I kindly obliged. Yes, she did make her intentions clear, but even I have enough sense, as a new comer, not to get involved with someone like that." he finished matter of factly, while scrunching his nose in what I assumed to be disgust.

I was a little taken aback by his honesty, as well as astounded that someone resisted the filthy harlot. _Must just be the quiluetes then_ I thought as pictures of Jake flooded my mind.I can only imagine the look on my face because Edward's turned to one of apprehension.

Before he had a chance to say anything, I quickly asked, "Just coffee?", to which he answered me with my own words.

"Well, I think coffee I can do, when exactly would you be able to do that?" I asked, quite literally shocked by my capability to carry this conversation and breathe at the same time. I had to look like a tomato by now I'm sure. If I was though, he didn't seem to mind. _Maybe he's just being polite._

"Well, I'm a little busy for the rest of the work day. Would it be too soon for you this evening?" he asked warily.

"Tonight. Oh no, that's fine. I can be free for you any night." _WTF? _ I blushed bright crimson. "I mean tonight's good for me," I corrected, trying to feign nonchalance. "I'll meet you at West End Video, say around seven thirty," I said figdeting with my fingers, and chancing a glance at his emerald pools.

"Okay," he said cautiously, "but why are we going to the movie store?" he asked slightly perplexed by my choice of coffee shops.

"Oh, well they're also a coffee shop. They have espresso and the best biscotti. I always went there with Ja-" I stopped, not wanting to open that can of beans. I finished by explaining I had a movie to return.

"Seven thirty it is." he replied, standing up and offering me his hand and a small smile.

I took his hand and stood slowly, trying my best to stay vertcial and not make a fool of myself for the second time today. "I'll see you then," I said taking my hand back and offering up a small smile of my own before turning for the door.

I thought I heard a 'I can't wait' slip from his mouth, but I wasn't sure and didn't want to think this was going somewhere that he 'couldn't wait for'. I made my way outside to where it was no longer raining. _How long was I in there?_

I climbed in my car and put the key in the ignition. I was too confused to take off right away, so I sat there and thought about what had just happened. I was pretty sure that this could count as a date. But as long as he was accustomed to calling it 'just coffee' then I would be too.

I raked my fingers through the top of my hair, getting them tangled in the process. I blushed for no apparent reason at all, seeing as I was alone in the confines of my car. I wasn't sure if I was happy because some one wanted to get to know me, or because I had complete function of my brain filter.

So, maybe not just someone. Maybe a really hot, really nice doctor, who has no interest in Leah wants to get to know me. And, maybe not complete function, but at least eighty five pecent. That had to count for something. Right?!

I finally backed outof the parking lot and headed for Jenni's house where I spent the rest of the morning and part of the afternoon indulging in the easygoing tranquility of her home. Her baby was beautiful. Her name was Emma Faith, which meant something about Healer and faith, but they were opting to just call her Em.

She had hair the same shade as Embry, but paler skin much like Jenni's. It was still too early to tell who she would ultimatlely look like, but we joked that we'd prefer more like her mother. I finally left Jenni and Em to get some rest and decided to finally go get my things from Jake's house.

I wasn't taking much since Angela said the small house I'd be using was fully furnished. I just needed my clothes and a few personal effects.

I made it to the house and climbed the three steps to the door. I fished around for the key and placed it in the lock. I wanted to be in and out before Jake had anytime to make it home, so I hurried in the house and went straight to the room. I opened up the closet, where I found an old suitcase and started throwing clothes in it.

I then went to the bathroom and gathered the rest of my things. I did a quick once over, just to be sure I wasn't forgetting something I would have to come back for. Even being here just the day after, it felt like I was intruding into some foreign atmosphere.

I had lived here for the past three years with Jake, but now I felt oddly disconnected. I gathered up my things and made my way out of the front of the house, taking one last glance this place I was leaving behind.

I closed the door and drug my suit case down the steps and to my car. I had to pause and catch my breath before I could muster up the strength to lift it into the trunk. I paused for a second before climbing in, trying to determine if I was doing the right thing by leaving.

I had wanted so many things with Jake, but it seemed as if those things were out of reach.

I drove away without looking back, fearful of all the memories I was sure would resurface if I did. I couldn't look back; I had to look forward. Even though forward scared me more than what lay behind me now.

**JPOV**

When I pulled up to the house I knew that she had been here. I could see the marks-from what I was guessing was either a suitcase or a really small dolley-across the yard. I was a little scared to go back in that house, not because I thought something might jump out and grab me. But because without Bella, it just felt empty. Our home was nothing more than a small house that echoed of all the time we had spent here together.

I let out a deep breath before I pulled the keys from the ignition and durg myself out of the confines of my truck. I trudged across the yard and went in the house. It hadn't been long since she was here, you could still smell her perfume in the air. I closed my eyes and inhaled deeply, as if I were trying to take my last breath of air.

I went to the fridge to grab a beer and walked back out onto the porch closing the door behind me. _Maybe, just maybe_, I thought,_ if I didn't stir the air too much, I'd be able to smell her when I go to bed._

I was exhausted from the day's work. I had to attach an external shift lever to the shift lever stub on the transmission of a ninety-one five speed wrangler. It wasn't a difficult task, just a pain to get to when you're as big as I am. Add that in with not getting much sleep last night, and I was almost dead to the world.

I most likely would have been if it weren't for the fact that I was waiting on Bella to call. _Like that's ever gonna happen_. I couldn't help but hope she would need me for something. Okay, to be honest, and this is really hard to admit, I was hoping her car would break down and she'd need my help. That was my only shot at getting to talk to her now.

I had tried calling the book store dozens of times, and if I hadn't known Angela better, I would have thought she was lying to me when she kept saying Bella wasn't there.

I finally gave up about an hour before I left work, deciding maybe we did need to be to ourselves for a little while. But no what, I would always be here waiting. For what, I wasn't sure, but I refused to give up on us. I couldn't let go of that little bit of hope.

I finished my beer just as the sun sank below the horizon, so I decided to get up and go wash off all of the grime from my day at the shop. I showered quickly and toweled off, opting to walk in my birthday suit to the room, since I knew no one was in the house.

I figured that was one perk to Bella leaving, she'd never let me do that before. I dressed in a pair of athletic shorts and figured it might be time to pick up all of my clothes off of the floor. I finished this task quickly, placing all of my clothes back in their respective drawers. I then stretched out on the bed, not really feeling up to eating dinner at the moment.

I tried one more time to reach Bella on her cell, but after only one and a half rings, it went to her voicemail. I didn't bother leaving a message, figuring she wouldn't return my call either way.

I set my alarm and laid my phone on the night stand. I grabbed her pillow and hugged it to my chest so I could smell her as I drifted off to sleep. It took a while to get there, but when it did, I couldn't have been happier. At least in the world of my dreams, she was still my Bella.

**A/N: If you haven't noticed, it's going to take a while to get to where this story is going, but please bare with me. I'm trying to post at least one chapter everyday, but I might take a break to do some much need laundry. Big thanks to froggyqueen and javamomma0921 and whoever else is following this story. Mucho mucho love to all of yall for your support! If you have any suggestions about any part of this story, I'd love to hear it. Once again thanks! 3 km3 **

**Up next: 'just coffee'  
**


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: I don't own twilight.**

**Okay, this may turn out to be one heck of an author's note, but I have to give shout outs:ThatPanicGirlE, you are truly one awesome chick, thanks for your support, you give me sunshine and happy faces all day long. Thanks again for the avatar. She's got great stories that she's written, go check them out, she's on my faves. draganz2004, you will forever be one of the loves of my life(platonically speaking), and I'm sorry for putting you through a first date like that. I hope I won't need that again. Seriously though, I could never have asked for a better BFF. Froggyqueen, I am so happy that you like my story, you give me rainbows and daisies. Your support really helps keep me going. Oh, and Jake says that he hasn't married Bella yet because it's one of the biggest commitments you can ever make, and he wanted to be completely sure he was ready to take that leap. That's what he said, so I don't know...I think he was a little scared of commitment, but who knows. Javamomma0921, you're just awesome. You're a great writer, as well as a link in my support chain. (does that make sense) You too, give me all the happiness and support I never could have imagined having. She has great stories as well, completely blows me away, so check those out too.(Also on my faves.) But really you're all great, and those of you who are reading, I know who you are, even if you aren't reviewing. It's cool though, you're awesome for reading this too. Also, I might be changing up POVs on you guys, but not by too many. Too many POVs means too many voices in my head and that makes for a looney km3. **

**Now, on with the show..er story.**

**Chapter 6**

**EPOV**

I walked into the coffee shop a few minutes after seven. I would have been here sooner, but I had a delivery by cesarean. It took a little longer than I had planned, due to the fact that it was twins I was delivering. After I was done at the hospital, I had to hurry home and shower before meeting Bella.

I spotted her sitting at a small table in the middle of the floor, glancing around nervously. I didn't know Bella very well, but I felt a strange pull to her that caused me to want to go to her, wrap her in my arms and not let go.

I didn't do this, though, I still had that yearning to touch her. Her big brown eyes finally landed on me with a relieved look before she dropped her gaze to her hands and blushed. I smiled to myself as I made my way over to the table where she sat.

"May I sit?" I asked as I stopped next to the empty chair across from her. She met my gaze and I could feel my heart rate accelerate minutely.

"Um, I was waiting for someone, but I suppose you can for now," she said with a small smile, as she looked up to me once again.

I took my seat and wondered if this was as awkward for her at this moment. The blush that glided over her skin and finally took residence in her cheeks let me know that it was. I scrambled for something to say as I glanced around the shop. Just as I was about to ask her about her day, the barista rounded the counter and came to our table.

"Hi, I'm Caleigh, welcome to West End, what can I get you?" she asked. She was a pretty girl, looking no older than sixteen. She had a slim build, long light brown hair, and blue eyes. Her skin was a rich tan, not one of those orange ones out of a bottle. By looking at her, one would guess that she loved to be outdoors a lot. I imagined her playing volleyball on a beach somewhere along a sunny coast.

I was taken out of my thoughts by Bella clearing her throat at me. "Your order, sir," Caleigh asked, looking very flustered.

"Oh, yes. I'll have the iced Italian with sugar and cream. And..uh...the orange sesame biscotti," I told her, watching as she diligently wrote the order on a small pad of paper.

She told us to let her know if there was anything else we might need, before turning and walking back behind the counter to fix our refreshments.

"So, what did you order?" I asked Bella, willing her-unsuccessfully- to look at me. She blushed before responding, "Oh you know, the usual-cranberry almond biscotti and a double macchiato, extra foam."

"So I imagine if it's the usual, that would mean you come here often," I tried to phrase it as a question, but it came out more like a statement. "I was coming here every day for the longest time, but it just became a lot easier and faster to make my coffee at home or at the shop," she told me.

Caleigh came back with our order and placed our drinks and plates of biscotti in front of us. She smiled sheepishly without a word, before turning to walk back to her post behind the counter. _What is it with the oppisite sex and shyness in this town? _I thought, turning back to look at Bella who was now cupping her espresso and biting her bottom lip.

"So, gynecology, that must be interesting. What made you pick that profession," she asked, finally meeting my gaze.

"What can I say, I'm a guy," I replied with a chuckle, before thinking about what she had asked. That had become my usual answer to my brother, Emmett, but not exactly the answer I meant to give to Bella. I had just met this woman, and I didn't want her to get the wrong impression.

She blushed and looked down into her cup. I quickly thought for a way to take back my crude comment, coming up with nothing spectacular except, "I was only joking. My father is a doctor in Seattle, so I was encouraged to take that road. I chose gynecology because you get to work with adults as well as bring life into the world. It's a very rewarding occupation," I felt a little relieved when she looked back up to me.

Her eyes were filled with a look of awe, as she studied my face. I began to feel a little squeamish, being under the scrutiny of this intriguing woman.

"So, you mentioned earlier something about a shop. What kind of shop are we talking about?" I asked, trying to turn the conversation from my career to her's.

"A small book store, it's called Just us Books," she replied, her eyes lighting up with excitement.

"Have you worked there long?" I asked, now very interested in this little book store.

"Well, I bought it about two and half years, ago. It used to be a house, but we worked on it and fixed it up and made it into the little shop it is today. I really enjoy it, I get to spend time around my favorite things everyday. Most people don't care too much about books now-a-days, you know? With the whole internent and e-book thing. But I love 'em. And you can't get that comforting smell of old pages and stories of worlds long forgotten through the internet," she finished, picking up her biscotti and nibbling the end.

I sipped my coffee, glancing at her over the rim of my cup. I had never heard her talk to much. I was suprised that she was so passionate about something as common as books, as well as the fact that she owned her own business. These small details about her life fascinated me to no end._ Maybe there is more to this Bella Swan than meets the eye. _

The small talk continued as we discussed where we were from, and how we came to live in this town. I told her about my parents and my brother Emmett and sister Alice. I told her stories from younger years, while she told me of being an only child. I was surprised to learn that she had lived here all of her life, never leaving the state, except for one trip to visit her estranged mother in Jacksonville.

When we talked of high school and the years after, she didn't offer up anything of consequence. I was curious, but didn't push her. I figured I couldn't learn everything about her in one night, though I desperately would have loved to.

I watched her as she studied the provisions of the coffee shop restlessly, always biting on her bottom lip unremittingly. She never would look me in the eye for more than a second, to which I was somewhat grateful-for fear that I would be lost in her warm chocolate pools-but also, somewhat saddened-because I wanted nothing more at the moment than to drown in them.

There was something to this woman. Something that I so desperately needed to know. She was a beautiful petite woman. Sure, she had the balance of a spinning top, never staying vertical for too long, but she was alluring. Some people may have described her as plain or ordinary. But I could never characterize this magnificent being simply as such.

Finally, she spoke after being quiet for a few minutes, offering me nothing of great fortune, only making me blush as she, herself, did before, "You know, I never thought about it much before, but you really look like that one actor, Robert-oh what's his name? uhh...Peterson?"

I knew exactly who she was talking about, I had been told time and time again how I held a strong resemblance to the young star. "Robert Pattinson," I offered, feeling my cheeks grow warm. Most women I took out in the past, would be so flagrant as to assume some kinship between us, which was not the case at all. Usually, that would be the time I ended a date, feigning some quickly brought on illness. But, this was different, because I was not on a date. We were doing 'just coffee'. So I decided to let it go, and humor her instead.

"Yeah, I get that a lot. I don't really see it, but maybe it is there, since I hear it quite often," I added.

She blushed as she quickly apologized, "Oh I'm so sorry. That was rude of me. I shouldn't have said anything."

"Why do you do that?" I asked, realizing I had once again opened my mouth and spoke before letting my brain process the comment. _Brain to mouth, come in mouth- watch, it or you'll fuck this coffee thing up!_

"Do what," she asked, looking at me curiously.

_Well, no way to pull your foot out of your mouth on this one._ "You apologize so much. And you blush quite often. I was just curious as to why," I told her, hoping I wasn't offending her.

Once again she blushed a light pink as she looked down at her hands and fidgeted with her fingers. "I don't know. I just felt the need to apologize for saying that. As far as the blushing," her cheeks growing red now, "how could I not blush when I'm sitting at a table with this Adonis-like being in front of me?"

_Whoa. _

That comment left me quite flabbergasted, and my cheeks grew just as red-if not more so-as her's were now. I didn't know how to respond, and luckily I didn't have to right away. Caleigh saved the day by coming to ask if we needed anything else. I was granted a few seconds to gather my thoughts and prepare a response as she took our plates and cups from the table.

I glanced back at Bella, where she was looking a little uncomfortable, so I did the one thing I had wanted to do all night. I reached across the table, and lightly touched her cheek with my fingertips. I felt the heat of her blush in her cheeks, as a smile played at the corners of her mouth.

"Hey I'm not that easy on the eyes, I'm no where close to Adonis. And really, I can't even compare when I'm sitting at a table with Aphrodite herself," I told her, while cupping her cheek in my hand. She leaned into my hand, closing her eyes. I sat rubbing small circles on her cheek for a moment with my thumb, before forcing myself to pull away.

I felt a pair of eyes on me, so I glanced behind Bella to find a man staring at us. He looked much like some of the Native Indians from around here, but I didn't know who he was. He met my gaze, and turned his head quickly as his face took on a look of anger. I didn't bring him to Bella's attention, but was curious as to why he was staring at us like it deeply upset him.

The mystery man was soon forgotten when she slowly opened her eyes, and brought my gaze back to her own. I felt my heart accelerate very rapidly. Not the minute difference like earlier, but at a much stronger, more fierce pace. She looked down at her watch, and a look of affliction set across her features.

"What is it," I asked not understanding why she was looking like this. "I'm so sorry, but I have to be going. I promised Angela I would go by her house by nine so we could work on all of the paper work for the new shipment of books we just received," she said, her voice full of remorse.

It felt like I had just arrived, but when I looked down at my phone, I was shocked to see that it was five til nine already. "Oh that's no problem. Well, it was nice getting to know so much about you. I really had a nice time. Maybe we could do this again," I asked, hoping I didn't sound too desperate. The truth of the matter was, except for giving Leah a ride home once, I hadn't had any interaction with people outside of my job since I moved here.

Well, I had the usual phone calls to my family, but besides them, I had no one. I was grateful to this woman for allowing me to get to know her better.

"Really? That would be great. I'm sorry to have to leave like this," she said as she reached in her purse, coming out with her wallet before she laid a twenty dollar bill on the table.

"Bella, put that away," I scolded. "That's just insulting."

She glared at me for a moment, then stubbornly shook her head from side to side.

"We just had coffee, Edward. That was it. Just two people having a polite conversation over coffee. If it were something else, I would be obliged to let you pay for all of it. But is was_ 'just coffee'. _We're going dutch. Don't bother arguing with me on this, it's not going to get you anywhere," she replied sounding quite agitated.

I let out a deep breath, and then surrendered. "Fine," I stated, "but if this is how we're doing this, then Caleigh's just going to end up with a very fat tip." I told her, cocking my head to the side and arching an eyebrow, daring her to contest.

A smile played at her lips as she then nodded her head in agreement. I laid a twenty on the table on top of hers, as we both stood. She grabbed her purse and fished a dvd case from it while placing the purse on her shoulder. We walked through the coffee shop and into the conjoined rental store, where she placed the movie in the return bin.

As we exited the shop I noticed it was considerably cooler outside than before, and I wanted to wrap my arm around her to keep her warm. But I thought better of it, realizing that may be a little forward.

I turned to her, not knowing what to say exactly, and feeling the awkwardness from the beginning of our evening resettle around us once again. She looked up at me, and then stuck her hand out in front of her, as if she wanted a hand shake. I obliged her her hand shake, noting how soft and smooth her skin was against mine.

She shook my hand very gently. I finally realized as she stopped shaking my hand and stared at me from under raised eyebrows, that she wanted her hand back. _Nothing says creepy like trying to hold onto someone for too long._ I relinquished her hand, and wished her a goodnight before turning to climb in my car. I waited until she had climbed into her's and left the parking lot before I turned the key in the ignition and started on my way.

I rode home in a comfortable silence, the hum of the engine alleviating any nerves that were making me anxious. My thoughts stayed on Bella for the entire drive to my house, as well as when I dressed for bed.

I laid down that night, content with everything that had taken place that day. As I started to drift towards unconsciousness, a thought occurred to me. I had not remembered to get Bella's phone number. _Damn._

_I guess I'll just have to go book shopping soon._

-----

**BPOV**

My time spent with Edward last night was a different experience than what I'm used to. It was nice-a little awkward feeling-but nice. I couldn't remember if I'd ever had 'just coffee' with anyone before. After a moment, I knew I had never had 'just coffee' with anyone else. I had spent all of my adult life with Jake.

Jake.

Thinking of him made my heart ache a tiny bit. I missed him terribly. Why wouldn't I? He was all I knew.

He was that comforting place you went to when you weren't sure about something. He could make anyone smile practically with just his presence.

I pushed those thoughts of him out of my very boggled mind when I heard the door of the book store open. I was surprised to see Edward standing in the doorway. His clothes were a little wet from the down pour we were now experiencing. _Nothing unusual there. _

He wore a pale blue button-up shirt with a pair of khaki slacks and brown loafers. His hair was a disheveled mess, but I was becoming very aware that this was pretty normal for him. He was as handsome as ever.

Edward flashed me a friendly smile, which I returned. He came over to the counter as I stood from my seat.

"Good day, Ms. Swan," he said politely while sweeping his arm in front of his body and taking a low bow. I smiled and blushed lightly.

A small laugh bubbled up to my lips, and I covered my mouth with my hand. "Good day to you Dr. Cullen. To what do I owe the pleasure?" I asked, trying to keep this charade going.

"Well, it seems Ms. Swan that I left last night without something that I would much like to acquire. If you shall let me, that is," he said.

"Oh whatever could that be?" I asked, my voice full of mock astonishment. But to be truthful, I really wondered what he was talking about. What could I give him that he didn't have? What did he think he could _acquire_ from me?

"Well two things actually. You see, where I come from, friends are allowed to call each other. So, it wouldn't be too inconceivable to think that I might like to have your number. Seeing as you are my only friend in this town. The other, well, I might need to acquire the first thing first."he said, his voice betraying his confidence at the end. He always seemed a little nervous to talk to me. Like he was unsure of himself or his words.

I couldn't understand why he would feel that way around me, I was nothing compared to him. He was beautiful and kind and funny,....a little corny but a nice guy all the same. Where as I was plain 'ole Bella-a girl who had done nothing well in her life except manage to trip on every flat surface imaginable.

Friends.

He called us friends.

_Are we friends?_

"Hmm...I suppose friends can talk to each other on the phone. You know, in case there's like.....zombies coming from the hospital morgue and I need to high tail it out of here. It seems fair, so sure." I told him, while rubbing my thumb on my chin as if I were deep in thought.

_Is it weird to give this guy my number so shortly after leaving Jake? What does that make me look like? Oh, what does it matter what I look like, he's just a-what did he say before-...friend?? Hmm, that's a okay title I suppose, but accquintance seems to fit better. Oh, well. Friends._

"So, the first has been accuired, Dr. Cullen, what is the second?" I asked, truly curious.

"Well, if you can imagine, I am fairly good working with my hands in most cases. I do however, lack any culinary skills. I was just wondering if you would like to accompany me to dinner sometime this week."

I was....shocked. That's the only word I could come up with to describe what I was. Why was this man asking me to dinner? I'm sure he could find someone more interesting in this town than me. I was almost positive if he went back to the place where we first ran into each other, he could find that Jessica Stanley was more interesting than me. She would love to have dinner with someone like Edward, I'm sure.

I stared at him for a moment, not sure what kind of look was on my face. I wanted to say yes, simply because I didn't like being alone after I left the shop. But, I just couldn't. I looked down at the counter, and fidgeted with my fingers.

"Edward," I looked up to meet his gaze. "I would love to, but it's just that.." I dropped my gaze back to the counter. "I'm really busy this week. I have a lot of new shipments coming in and I need to get caught up here at the shop," I lied.

He smiled at me before saying, "Oh, I see. Well, in that case, maybe another time. Maybe we could have coffee again when you're free," he seemed to have noticed my hesitation, but wasn't upset by it.

"Coffee's fine. Maybe next week sometime," I smiled up at him, as I reached for a piece of paper and a pen.

I wrote my number down and handed it to him. He informed me that he would be in touch so we could get together sometime soon when I wasn't busy, and left the shop.

I was at a loss of words when the door to the shop opened less than a minute later and I saw a very distraught looking Jacob standing before me.

**A/N: I hope to not leave you hanging on the cliff for too long. Let me know what you think. km3**


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: Sorry for the wait, I hope no one fell off the cliff. T-ball has started again and who's team mom? None other than yours truly, So I'm sorry if my updates become a little less constant. I'll do my best at keeping the updates coming as long as I keep getting comments. Speaking of which, I would like to hear from all of those who have read my story all the way through, even if you want to review anonymously. JUST REVIEW PEOPLE!!! Thank you and I'll shut up now. **

**Chapter 7**

**BPOV **

I sat there. Neither of us spoke for the first few minutes. We just stared at one another, waiting for the other to start first. I didn't know what to say. Part of me was angry at him for coming by the shop.

I had received all of his missed calls. Wasn't it a given that I didn't want to talk to him if I wasn't answering the phone?

A small part of me didn't like to see him upset like he was now. But I wasn't going to be the one to break the silence, so I sat with my jaw tight, my face void of any emotion, waiting for him to say something.

"Bella," he moved from the door and made his way to the counter.

I felt the need then to address him. "Jacob, what are you doing here?"

"What am I doing here? I can't come by the shop anymore or what?" his voice was a little shaky.

I let out a deep breath before answering him, "I'd prefer it if you didn't. Unless of course you have a new found love of reading."

"Yeah, well I just wanted to come by and see how you were doing. I've called you a million times and you won't answer," he said, running his big hands through his hair.

I looked down at my hands on the counter, not sure of how to tell him to leave me alone without breaking him any more than I already had. I didn't want to hurt him, but what he did was unacceptable. I couldn't just sit there and let him think he played no role in the way things went down.

"Jake I...you know when I said it was over....that kinda meant that I didn't want to see you..." I trailed off.

"Yeah I figured as much, but I also it figured it wouldn't hurt to try." We both were quiet for a few minutes, so I chanced a glance at him and saw a look that pained me beyond belief. He had tears in his eyes, and I could see the man that had been shattered into a million tiny pieces.

"Paul came by this morning," he finally broke the silence. "He said he saw you last night."

_Huh?_

I didn't remember running into Paul last night. I hadn't seen him since the hospital. Then a thought occurred to me.

"Oh yeah, what did he say?" I asked, seeing if my conclusion was correct.

"He said he saw you with that doctor guy at West End. That you two looked pretty cozy together." A slight look of anger crossed his face, but he quickly recovered, obviously not wanting to give himself away.

_WTF???_

"Wait, what?" I asked. I figured that he had probably seen me at the coffee shop, since that was the only place I had gone yesterday. But I didn't understand the last part at all. _Cozy?? _

"Look, I know we aren't together now, but I just...out of all the people I know Bella, I never expected you to be one for cheating," he said while shaking his head. He let out a deep breath and raked his fingers through his hair again.

Cheating? Me? Yes, I was there last night, with Edward. But cheating? _Maybe it's just me, but I thought you had to be with someone to cheat on them. Pretty sure that's the way it works._ Then if finally made sense to me what he was thinking.

Part of me wanted to laugh at him, for being so ridiculous. But a bigger part wanted to yell at him. The latter part won.

"What?! You know, out of all the people I know Jake, I never would have taken you for one to believe gossip. You and your little friends assume too much. All of you look too deep into things, and I can't believe you have the audacity to come into my shop and accuse me of cheating on you when I'm not even with you anymore." It felt good to yell like that. But I wasn't done yet.

"You are completely absurd if you think that I would do something like that. I can't even...UGGHHH!!" I growled, throwing my hands in the air.

"Bella, I'm absurd? Why don't you look in the mirror sweetheart, you left me because you thought I would do that. That I could do that. So who's absurd? And how can you expect me to think any different when he was touching you Bella? People don't touch like what Paul described if they haven't been together for a while." he slammed his fists on the counter.

I couldn't find it in me to justify my actions to him. I let my face fall blank, and stared him in the eye. "You know, you're right, Jacob. I am absurd. For ever letting the thought cross my mind that you could be a decent person and move on from this. That you could just let go and call a spade a spade. Now, if you don't mind, run and tell your little pack of buddies, that I don't need them sticking their noses in my business. They can stop running back and telling you whatever cockamamy bullshit they come up with. I don't need a bunch of over grown buffoons keeping watch over me. You need to just leave because I can't do this,"

I turned to walk to the back when I felt a big hand grab my shoulder and spin me around until I was flush against his chest. I looked up to his face while trying to push him away. His arms snaked around my waist and held me tightly to him.

"Bella, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to upset you. Please forget what I said. Please come back home. I don't like it without you there. I can make this better, I really can. Just please don't do this," the hurt he was feeling seeped into his plea.

"Let me...go, Jake." I growled at him while still pushing him away.

"No Bella, please don't let me go. I don't want us to be apart. How did we get here? I can't stand losing you," he had a tear running down his cheek when the door to the shop opened.

"Hey Bella, can you help me...oh..nevermind I'll just...yeah, I'm gonna go." Angela looked at us and walked back out of the shop after dropping some boxes on the floor right inside the door.

Jacob released his hold around my waist and stepped back. He quickly wiped at the tear as it slid down his jaw line. "Here, I better go. I just wanted to give you this," he said as he laid a blue velvet box in my hands and then turned for the door. "I'm sorry Bells. I love you," he said looking back at me over his shoulder.

My hand gripped tightly to the little box as I watched him get into his truck and drive away.

I stared out of the door wondering what was going through his head to make him think he could come down here and ask me to come back. Angela broke me from my train of thought when she slammed another box down on the floor.

"What was that all about?" she asked me, placing her hands on her hips.

"I..uh..I don't know." I stammered lamely.

"Okay. Well, do you want to talk about it?"

I looked down at the box in my hand, and shook my head no. I was curious to see what was inside the box, but scared out of my mind to actually know.

"Can you help me put these books up? I still need to go back out to my car and get the rest," she said as she headed back out into the rain.

I went to the back and put the little box in my purse, then turned to grab the boxes that Ang had brought in. I carried them over to the counter and started opening them up. We spent most of the day going over inventory of the new shipment and shelving them as well. We didn't have many customers, but that was most likely due to the torrential downpour we were experiencing. Rain was common for our little town, but the amount of that day must have been record breaking.

It didn't seem to let up any until just before closing. I counted down the register and made my way to my office in the back to put the money in the safe. I grabbed my bag and met Angela back out front.

"So what are you doing later?" she asked while pulling her coat on.

"Not much, probably just go home and wallow in self pity," I mumbled the last part, but she heard me anyway.

"Bella, if something's bothering you, you know you can always talk to me right?" she was always so kind. She never would push when she knew I didn't want to talk about something. I loved Angela, but sometimes, I just wanted someone who would put me in my place and make me talk about it. I figured if I was _forced _to get it off my chest, it'd feel better later. But Angela wasn't the one who'd be up for the job.

I tried to smile and reassure her that I was only kidding, "I'll be fine Ang, I'm just going to stop at the store and grab some things I need, then I'll head home and soak in the tub for a while."

"Okay, if you're sure," she said and then embraced me in a big hug. I returned the hug and then turned to shut off all the lights in the shop. I turned on the porch light and locked the door behind us.

When I left the shop I stopped off at my favorite convenience store to pick up a few things I needed. _Six things to be exact. _

When I grabbed my six pack of Jameson's and made my way up to the counter, I had to fight back the giggle that was trying to break through my lips when I saw Jessica Stanley's face. Her eye shadow was a bright pink with a lime green line through the middle of the crease in her lid, from the bridge of her nose and curled up on the other side by her temple like a scroll. It may have been a cute idea, but the pink looked as if someone had poured Pepto Bismol on her eyebrow and let it run down to just below her eye. The bright pink lipstick that matched the eyeshadow wasn't doing her any favors. If I had to guess, I'd say she let a four year old do her makeup.

I bit my lip to hold back my laughter. She looked at me puzzled, probably wondering why I couldn't keep eye contact with her. If I did, I would have totally lost the small amount of composure I had left in me. I paid for my ale, and made my way out of the store.

I drove home faster than I normally would, being a police chief's daughter and all. Not to mention the rain. I was a little impatient to get home and free my mind of today's events with the help of my new bought friends. These boys were going to help rid me of my problems, if only for tonight.

I walked into my house and dropped the keys and ale on the table by the door. I slipped out of my shoes and made my way to my room to gather up my things for a bath. While I was in there, I went ahead and took my hair down, and slipped out of my work clothes. I tossed them in the hamper by my door on my way out before shutting off the light.

I walked back out into the living room to get my ipod out of my purse. When I reached in for it, I felt the velvet of the little box Jake had given me earlier that day. I grabbed the Jameson's and the box and made my way to the bathroom.

I turned on the water and poured in some of my cherry blossom bubble bath. Then I undressed, eyeing the little box on the counter the entire time. I grabbed a bottle from my six pack and sank down into the warm water.

The water was almost too hot, but that and the beer helped me to relax. I let the water dissolve all of the physical aches in my muscles while the beer worked to lessen the load on my mind. I mulled over all the things that had happened today.

It seemed odd to me that Edward asked me to dinner. Why would he want to go to dinner with me? He barely knew me. Sure, I had enjoyed talking with him, he was kind and easy to hold a conversation with. But dinner seemed in a whole other realm than coffee did to me. I still couldn't understand why he seemed somewhat apprehensive whenever he talked to me. He was a man who brought life into the world, for pete's sake. You had to be somewhat confident in yourself to do something like that for a living.

After wondering about that for a little while, I let my mind drift to Jake. My eyes drifted to the little blue box once again. Without even opening it I knew the contents. It's what I had always wanted, but was never able to obtain. I couldn't imagine what it could mean.

Why now? Why would he do this now? Didn't he understand what I meant when I said I was through? _Undoubtedly not._

I loved Jake, don't get me wrong, but I couldn't deal with the way he always seemed to be so damn oblivious to my desires. My biggest one being to be married to him. To have a family with him, and to grow old and grey with him. Why did he have to do this now? Why not a week ago? Why not years ago. He had nine years to give me that. But of course not. He waits until _after _we're broken up.

I sat in the tub until the water turned cold and my six pack was gone. I wasn't much of a drinker, so when I decided it was time to get out of the tub, my balance was once again AWOL. I stumbled over the edge and grabbed hold of the towel bar just in time to keep from bashing my forehead into the vanity. I toweled off on the way to my room and plopped down onto the bed face first.

I passed out and woke up to the screeching sound of my alarm. The pain in my head was screaming as I reached to turn off the noisy contraption.

I laid my head back down and closed my eyes. I didn't want to get up, but I didn't want to leave Angela at the shop alone again. I rolled over and ran my hands down my face trying to prepare myself for the light that I knew was going to make the pain in my head ten times worse.

I squeezed my eyes together tightly before opening one slowly. _Ouch._ So maybe one more day of Angela running the shop wasn't the end of the world.

I reached for my phone with my eyes closed, still somewhat laying down. It took me a minute to find it, only to knock it on the floor. I groaned as I had to pull myself up and reach to grab it. When I leaned down, I felt as if my brain was clawing my forehead, trying to get out.

I grabbed my head with the hand that I was coincidentally holding my phone in, and recoiled quickly when I felt the hard plastic smack into my forehead.

_Yep, definitely not going in today. _

I finally managed to find her number in my call log and listened to her voicemail. I informed her very annoying, high pitched shriek of a message that I would not be coming in because I was feeling under the weather. _ Hey, everything's annoying when you're hungover._

I wasn't lying. I just didn't feel the need to inform her that I had drank myself stupid, and had a mind boggling hangover. I hung up and finally realized I had not put on any clothes last night.

_Oh well, that can wait. _

I rolled over and crawled under the covers, burying myself completely from the light of day. Just as I was almost out, I heard the jingle on my phone, signaling a text. I groaned as I reached for it, only to find a number I didn't recognize.

**Good morning, Bella. I hope u have a gr8 day, n I would like 2 c u soon. If that's ok. -Edward**

I text him back quickly.

**Today's not good 4 me. Bad headache. Maybe tomorrow??**

He returned my message in record time.

**Hmm, need a dr to help with ur headache?**

I blushed at his comment, not really knowing what to say.

**Not now, just going bak 2 sleep. Will call l8r. **

His reply was simple.

**Sweet dreams, Bella. **

The smile that fell across my face hurt my head like hell, but I didn't care. Even though this day had gotten off to a bad start, things seemed to be looking up.

**A/N: Sorry only BPOV, Jacob was sulking too much and didn't want to provide his for me, and Edward was busy bringing life into the world all day after his texting, so maybe next chapter.**

**So, what did you like? What did you hate? What do you want to see? Tell me something-**_**anything!!!**_

**Okay, enough begging..hit the green button now..please.**


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N: Thanks to those who read and review, you really are a big help with your constant support. Not a whole lot to say at the moment. So I'll get on with the story.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own twilight or anything related to it. *sheds a tear***

**Chapter 8**

**BPOV**

When I woke up from my nap, the sun was sinking below the horizon. I didn't realize I had slept the whole day away. I rolled over and pushed the blankets to the foot of the bed. I still had a small bit of a headache, but the majority of the pain had subsided.

I clambered out of bed and decided it might be a good idea to put on some clothes now. After I was dressed in a pair of sweats and an old t-shirt I made my way to the kitchen to get some Advil and water.

I looked in the fridge and realized my food supply was seriously depleted. I didn't even have a bottle of water. _I guess tap will do for now. _I grabbed a glass out of the cabinet and made my way to the sink.

While I was letting my glass fill, I couldn't help but think about the text message that Edward had sent. It was sweet of him to ask if I needed any help with my headache. I couldn't help but wonder if there was a double meaning to the way he asked. _Stop over thinking things Bella, he's a doctor and it's his job to worry about people's well being, _my sensible side was telling me.

_But who wouldn't want him to help them with a headache? I can think of many ways he could help, _ the senseless side was saying. Well, either way, he was too far out of my league, and I just broke up with Jake, it's too soon to be having thoughts like that of someone else.

_But just think of those eyes; how hypnotic they are. And those lips; how soft and plump they look. If you could only kiss them. Or those hands, my god those hands. The things those hands can do. I wonder how good they would feel on your-_

_SHUT UP ALREADY!_ I inwardly scolded Senseless. I wish she would stop bringing out images of him in this fashion. How was I supposed to ever look at him and not be reminded of these thoughts?

I tucked these thoughts in the back of my mind for now, and realized that the water in my glass was running over the rim. I quickly turned off the tap and poured some of the water down the drain. I popped the pills and walked back into my room to retrieve my phone.

I scrolled through my messages and noticed that I had quite a few messages from Angela, Emily, Jenni, Jake, and _oh no… _Charlie.

I had forgotten to tell Charlie about the break up. He wasn't going to be happy to know that I left Jake. He had loved Jake, even before we started dating. They were so close that I swear, if I didn't know better, I would have thought he was Jake's dad instead of mine.

_Well, I might as well face the music. _

I texted Charlie back, letting him know that I was doing good and I'd be by the house when I had a chance so I could explain. I wasn't in the mood to really answer any of the other messages, especially after yesterday and today. So I closed my phone and sat down on the couch to watch some show about a girl in high school and her vampire boyfriend.

I was rather enjoying the show, when my phone jingled, and I looked to see who was texting me. _Oh, the doctor is in…_ Senseless beamed.

**R u feeling better? -Edward**

I didn't mind the fact that he didn't wait for me to call or text him like I had said, I was overly ecstatic and I couldn't stop smiling at my phone like an idiot.

**I am now, what r u doing? -Bella**

It took him no time to reply.

**I was out for coffee and then heading home, but I wanted 2 c if I needed 2 make a house call first…. -E**

_House call? Hmm….._

**And what exactly would this house call entail? -B**

Just as my phone jingled again, there was a knock on the door. _Who in the hell could that be?_

I laid my phone on the coffee table without checking the message, and made my way to the front door. I peeked out of the window to see none other than my new favorite doctor. Standing on my porch, holding a small white bag and a coffee tray with two cups of coffee.

_What the hell?? He's here. At my house. With coffee. _

_Should I turn him away?_

_Definitely. This is a little on the creepy side. How did he know where you lived? _Sensible says.

_Definitely not, this could make for one heck of a house call._ _Open the damn door already. _Senseless says.

I took a deep breath and tried to find some reason as to why he would be here. It made no sense. He had just texted me and here he was. I brushed my hair out of my face, and smoothed my t-shirt as best I could. _Why bother, I look like hell anyway. _I kept telling myself I was only going to talk to him long enough to find out how he knew where I lived. Sensible had a point, _how did he know?_

I opened the door, and was greeted with a very beautiful smile from the god in front of me. My eyes raked up and down his body, taking in every inch of his hard, chiseled physique. He stood in a pair of dark wash jeans that hung low on his hips and a white t-shirt that hugged every muscle of his upper body. His hair was disheveled in that JBF kind of way.

I sucked in a breath of air, and realized I had been openly gawking at him. I knew my entire being was red at that moment at being caught, I just hoped he wouldn't call me on it.

"Edward, I…what are you…uh…would you like to come in?" I asked pointing over my shoulder towards the living room. _Oh Bella, you're good. Real good. At making yourself look more stupid than you already did. If that's possible_.Senseless folded her arms and rolled her eyes. My cheeks were on fire.

He smiled at me, "Sure, I just came by to see how your headache was and figured maybe you'd like some coffee. I also brought you some biscotti."

_Oh, my word. _

"Oh thanks, that was sweet of you. You didn't have to do that." _ But you're so glad he did. _Senseless was doing cart wheels now.

"I know, I just…I figured if your headache was bad enough for you not to go in today, then maybe you could use a little food and coffee to help calm it," he was looking down at the table as he set the coffee on it.

He seemed to have good intentions. I don't know why, but something about him was just so alluring. I found myself wanting to know more about him.

He turned and smiled at me then, leaving us to an awkward silence.

"So, how was your day?" I asked, trying to ease into a conversation.

"It was good, we had three women give birth today. It was a little hectic, but nothing too big. What about you?" He handed me my coffee and we turned to go into the living room.

"Well, I slept all day. Oh, please excuse the boxes. I haven't finished unpacking yet." I told him, waving a hand toward the few boxes in the corner. I really needed to clean this place up a bit.

"Oh, don't worry about the boxes, I probably still have plenty of things to unpack," he said as we sat down on the couch, each on opposite ends.

"So how bad was your headache?" he asked. "Did you take any medicine for it?"

I blushed, how was I supposed to tell this man that I got drunk because I couldn't deal with my now-ex-boyfriend bringing me some sort of engagement ring to my book store and begging me to come back to him?! That my headache was an alcohol induced one. _Great way to make an impression, Bella. _

Honesty. That would be the way to go. _And since I'm being honest, he's so do-able right now.. _Okay, not too much honesty. Just enough to explain the headache, then I can lie to myself about his do-able-ness.

_Not debatable._

_Shut up Senseless._

_She's right about that._

_Shut up, Sensible._

"Well, it wasn't pleasant, but nothing I couldn't handle. I took some Advil when I woke up," I looked down at my hands in my lap.

"Can I ask you a question?"

"Sure, you can ask me anything, what's up?" he seemed so carefree.

"How exactly did you know where I lived?" I couldn't look him in the eye when I asked, so I picked up the bag of biscotti and started nibbling on the cranberry almond. _He remembered._

"I had gone by the shop after I texted you today to pick up a cook book for my mother. Your friend, Angela, right?" I nodded. "She's really sweet, and seems to care for you a lot. Anyway, while she was ringing me up we got to talking and your name came up."

"Okaaaayyy...so did she offer up my address freely?" I was confused.

"Not really, only after I sort of told her that I was supposed to bring you some food but didn't know where you lived. She seemed very open with the information after that, you might want to talk to her about that." he took a drink of his coffee when he was done.

I still couldn't find it in me to care that he was here, even after he just admitted to going to my job and lying to Angela. I found it kind of nice that he took the time to worry about me, even it was just a stupid hangover.

"Well, Angela is a pretty good judge of character, and if she feels it's okay to let someone know where I'm staying, then I can't find it in me to disagree." I finally looked up at him and was met by the overwhelming gaze of those beautiful emerald green eyes.

It was hypnotizing. Like Kaa in the Jungle Book. I couldn't look away. I was lost in the deep green pools. Unfortunately, he did.

So which is your favorite Salvatore? Stefan or Damon?" he asked, glancing at that vampire show on tv.

"Huh? Oh, I don't know. I just started watching it. I don't even know what the show's called," I told him, now diverting my attention back to the television.

"It's called The Vampire Diaries. I have a younger sister who was into the books and is now hooked on the show," he said, shrugging his shoulders.

We talked about the show and books as well as his sister and him when he was younger. How he loathed being the middle child, but loved his siblings dearly.

There wasn't much to tell him about my childhood, besides my many trips to the emergency room. That topic drew us to a battle of who had the most scars. I won that one of course, topping his five miniscule imperfections with my seven noticeable flaws. It comes with being so damn clumsy.

Talking about the scars led us to showing our scars, and pretty soon, I was agreeing more and more with Senseless. Hell, even Sensible thought his scars were hot. When he lifted his shirt to show me one on his shoulder blade, I was pretty sure I'd be changing my panties when he left.

He said it happened when he was about nine and was playing baseball with his brother, Emmett. He hit the ball through a window of a neighbor's garage, and Emmett made him go get it. He was scared of the old lady who owned the place, so he was trying to hurry and climbed through the broken window, cutting himself in the process. He also informed me of how his mother scolded him the whole way to the hospital as well as the whole way home.

I didn't show him the one right under my left breast , partly because I wasn't wearing a bra, and because it just wasn't that pretty of one to show. I had fallen off of my bike when I was seven and the handle bar had gouged me on my ribs. It was excruciatingly painful and really not a memory I enjoyed, seeing as it was the biggest scar I had on my body.

It was fun talking to Edward, laughing about all of the silly things we did as children. I noticed that while we were talking, we both were making our way towards each other, finally meeting in the middle of the couch.

Talking about our childhoods did have it's dilemmas though, seeing as Jake was tied to most of my childhood memories. I tried to stick with the ones that didn't involve him, but just the thought of how much a part of my life he was stung a little bit. He was a great friend before things evolved between us, and part of me wished he could still be a great friend of mine. _Later, _I told myself. I'd think about these things later when I was alone. Not when I was sitting next to this fine specimen.

The show ended and so did the conversation. I wasn't sure what to say to him. I know I just broke up with Jake, and that I wasn't ready to start seeing anyone but I felt somewhat drawn to Edward.

Like I wanted to talk to him all the time, and be around him more. It was easy. It was comfortable.

_Yeah, and look where easy and comfortable got you last time, _Sensible chided.

I glanced sideways at Edward, only to find that he was facing me with a look of intent in his eyes.

I took in a shaky breath as his face seemed to verge upon mine. I couldn't drop my gaze from his, as his face came closer and closer. His tongue slid out and across his bottom lip, finally breaking my gaze away from his and bringing it to his mouth.

My tongue mirrored his and before I knew it his cheek was next to mine. Being in such close proximity with him, I could smell him more distinctly. He smelt of coffee and mint, with a subtle hint of cologne. I'd have to ask what kind, because my god, was it delicious.

I could feel his breath floating over the skin of my ear like silk. His slight stubble lightly tickled my jaw. My breath caught in my throat as he whispered softly,

"I've had fun with you tonight, Bella. But, there's one thing I would like to try before I go, if it's okay with you."

_Anything, _Senseless was screaming and jumping up and down.

I had to find my voice. I couldn't think when he was so close. Even Sensible was wordless.

Senseless seemed to be running this show, so naturally, I went with what she said.

"Anything," I told him, my voice barely more than a whisper.

He leaned back a little and the second I couldn't feel his breath on my ear or his stubble on my cheek, I felt…dejected.

But it was only for a second, because as soon as his face was back in front of me and I could see his eyes, I felt his breath on my face. And oh, did it smell delectable.

He cleared the small amount of space between us slowly. Ever so slowly, painstakingly slowly.

My heart was pounding and I couldn't hear anything but for the blood flow in my ears and beating of my heart.

My heart seemed to want to jump out of my chest. It was pounding so hard, I was certain it would be lying on the floor in a mere matter of seconds. I wasn't sure if this was due to my lack of inhalation, or the fact that I was pretty sure this god was about to kiss me.

My eyes fluttered closed, and I could feel his lashes slide across my cheekbone. Then all of a sudden my heart stopped completely when I felt his lips softly brush against mine. And I was oh so ready to pounce on him and _really_ feel his lips, when the door bell rang.

_Oh for the love of all things holy. _

He pulled back and I slowly opened my eyes. "I'm sorry, I should get that," I told him.

"Yes, you probably should. And I should probably be going. I have an early surgery in the morning, and I don't want to pass out in the O.R." he offered a small smirk.

I sighed, not wanting to answer the door, and not wanting Edward to leave yet.

"Well, maybe coffee tomorrow night?" I asked, feeling a small amount of hope that I'd see him again soon.

"No, I'm sorry, tomorrow I'll be leaving for Seattle to spend some time with my family. My mother always makes a fuss about not seeing us enough, so all of us kids have taken off the same week to go back and relive the good 'ole days at home with Mom and Dad," he told me, sounding somewhat saddened.

"Oh, well okay. Just…give me a call sometime?" _Why did that come out as a question? _

"Sure, and you have my number in case you need anything," he said, standing up and stretching his arms over his head.

I stood and did the same, before leading the way to the door. I wasn't expecting the hug that he embraced me in, but I returned it whole heartedly, finding myself not wanting to let go.

I opened the door, to be faced by none other than Charlie.

_Oh, snaps._

"Well, this is awkward. See you later, Edward?" _Once again, what's with the question??_

I blushed and looked down at my feet, not wanting to meet the gaze of either man.

"Uh, yeah, sure, just call me," he said and then turned to Charlie.

"Chief Swan, I'm Dr. Cullen. It's a pleasure to meet you, sir." Edward held out his hand.

My father, being the ass that he is at times, looked down at his hand, and back up at Edward.

Edward quickly pulled his hand away, wrapping it around the back of his neck. "Well, it was nice to meet you, and I'll see you later, Bella," he said before walking out of the house and climbing in his car.

Charlie walked past me into the house, then turned to me with his arms crossed across his chest.

"Well, young lady, I think you have some explaining to do." Charlie said in his no-bullshit-I-want-answers-now voice.

_Oh boy, do I ever. _

**Big thanks to those who are reading and reviewing, or just reading. Yall really do mean a lot and the reviews really help me see what yall think of this story. Whether I suck at writing and should quit completely or am decent and yall can stand to read it a little while longer. lol**

**Froggyqueen and Javamomma0921, you're reviews are great and they really help me want to write more. **

**Twilightmom1, I love your reviews even if they scare me a little because I don't know how to take them....but I hope you are enjoying and continue to provide me with your opinion. **

**Did yall think they were going to kiss? Ha-Bella's not that easy. Well, at least not most of the times. I was a little scared there for a minute, but Charlie was no to happy with her text, and he wanted answers. So, we'll see what he has to say next.**

**So once again, leave a review and let me know what you liked, hated, want to see, don't want to see. Feedback is heaven people!!!**

**Hit the green button in three, two, one, NOW! **


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N: Thank you to those who are giving me feedback, it really helps me gain some sort of insight as to what yall would like to see. (I tend to use yall a lot, what can I say, I'm from Texas.)**

**Disclaimer: I don't own twilight or anything related to it. Not news to yall, huh?**

**Chapter 9**

**BPOV**

Explain.

_What exactly does he want me to explain?_

_How about how you roughed up Leah in the bathroom. Or how you moved out of your house without a single word to him. Or how you had some man you barely know at your house. _Sensible was becoming a pain.

"Well, I'm waiting," Charlie urged.

"What do you want to know?" I asked him, walking back to the living room with him on my heels and avoiding eye contact with him the whole way. I took a seat on the couch while he sat on the love seat adjacent to me.

"I want to know what's going on, I heard you broke up with Jake and moved out without so much as a word to your old man. Then I get a call from Leah Clearwater saying that you attacked her in the hospital restroom for no good reason. You send me vague texts, not offering any information. And now when I come by to see you, you have some man at your house. This isn't at all like you, Bells." he sighed and ran his hand through his hair and then down his face.

"Are you done yet?" I asked, full of irritation.

"Are you going to explain?" he countered.

"Are you going to let me talk without interrupting?"

"Are you going to give me straight answers and stop answering my questions with a question?"

"That depends. Are you going to listen to everything before you start making a judgment?"

He rolled his eyes and leaned back into the cushions, then nodded his head.

"Well, there's really not much to tell. Jake cheated on me with Leah. I caught him with her on his lap at the hospital and then we broke up. She cornered me in the restroom and I couldn't deal with it anymore. I hit her," Charlie's face turned ten different shades of red, he leaned forward and his mouth opened like he was about to say something, but I held up a hand, signaling him to let me finish. "but only after she touched me first." He leaned back into the cushions, crossing his arms over his chest.

"I grabbed her by the hair and slammed her face into the paper towel dispenser. I know I shouldn't have, but I just couldn't take it anymore. Anyway, I did move out and was meaning to tell you, I just never found the time. It happened only a few days ago." I finished, knowing he would want to know about Edward, but not really wanting to divulge anything just yet.

"Why?" he asked.

I was a little bit lost on his question, so I asked, "Why what?"

"Why didn't you tell me? I know I'm not the most talkative person, or someone you feel comfortable talking to about your love life. But I just don't get it, Bells. You were so happy with Jake. You two were good for each other, and just like that, it's over?" Charlie looked almost heartbroken by the turn of events.

"Dad, I just…needed some time to wrap my head around everything. I know you love Jake, and I just didn't want you to be disappointed by my choices." I looked him in the eye and was met by what I knew was coming. Disappointment. _Just like I expected._

"You've never disappointed me, Bella. You've always known what's best for you. If you feel that you and Jake aren't meant to be, then, I stand by your decision. I have always loved Jake, but _you're _my child. You're what matters to me first. I'd just like to know what's going on from you, rather than from Mrs. Stanley when I go into the bank. That's all." He offered me a small smile, which I returned.

"I'm sorry, I just…needed time." I looked back down at my hands in my lap.

"Now, who is this Dr. Cullen and why was he here at your house?" I looked back up at Charlie, and he had a look of tenacity set in stone across his face.

I knew this conversation was coming. I had been dreading it since Edward walked out of the door. If only my nosey father had better timing, could I have pushed this talk to another day.

"Edward's just a friend," I replied, barely above a whisper. I blushed just at the mention of his name. _Oh, get a grip, Bella. _Sensible rolled her eyes and folded her arms over her chest.

"Well, I don't like him."

"Well, it's a good thing then that our friendship doesn't pertain to you," I replied defiantly.

"Bella, it's the way he looks at you. I know I only met him for that minute, but he looks at you like you're some kind of meal." He shook his head, as if trying to lose an image from his mind.

I laughed at the absurdity of his comment. My father made it sound as if Edward were some sort of cannibal, _what the hell?? _

After a moment of my giggles, Charlie finally loosened up and started to chuckle with me.

"Well, it's getting late, Bella. I should be heading home. Just…be careful, and give me a heads up next time, would ya?" he stood from the couch, running his hands down his chest to smooth out his shirt, and letting out a big yawn.

I yawned as well, seeing as how they're contagious and all. "I will Dad, and thanks for stopping by. I really do miss spending time with you," I said sincerely as we walked to the front door.

Charlie grabbed me up in a vice like hug and squeezed until I couldn't breathe. "Me too, kiddo, me too. Anytime you want to talk, just give me a holler, you know where I am," he released me from his hold and opened the front door before turning back to me.

"Oh, and Bella, you do still have that pepper spray, don't you? You know, for if _Dr. Cullen _tries to get all handsy," he waved his hand in front of his face, imitating someone spraying pepper spray in an assailant's eyes.

I rolled my eyes at him and then answered, "Yes, dad, still in my purse like always."

"Just checking, you can never be too sure these days," he said while making his way down the porch.

"Goodnight, dad."

"Goodnight, Bells. Greenish brown female sheep," he smiled.

"Back at cha." I responded to his moment of affection before closing the door and locking it. Ever since I can remember, Charlie had never come right out and said 'I love you', always opting for the 'greenish brown female sheep' comment.

I headed back into the living room and gathered my phone off of the table, checking to see if I had any missed calls or texts.

When I scrolled through my texts, I found the one that made my phone jingle just as Edward arrived to my house earlier.

It wasn't from Edward at all. It was from Jake, asking me to call him before I went to bed. _No chance in hell._

I turned off the lights and headed to bed, thoughts of Edward and him almost kissing me lulling me into a peaceful slumber.

**JPOV**

I sat at the table in Emily's kitchen, waiting for Sam to come out of the restroom so we could leave for the shop. Emily was just finishing up a batch of monstrous blueberry muffins when I noticed her eyeing me.

I knew the look. It was her I-want-to-tell-you-how-to-fix-it-but-don't-want-to-get-in-your-business look. I ran my hand through my hair and turned my attention to the back door just in time to see Claire coming in.

"Well, if it isn't the jack ass who broke my friend's heart. You look like shit this morning," Claire seethed.

"Claire, that's enough, he doesn't need you berating him," Emily chided.

"No, it's okay Emily. Claire can say whatever's on her mind. I deserve it," I told them, running both hands through my hair and closing my eyes, trying to prepare for the onslaught on her utterance.

"You're damn right you deserve it jack hole. Bella was too good to you, and for you to go romping around with that....that...skeeze, well, you deserve everything she throws at you. Literally," she huffed and plopped down in a chair across from me. "Why, Jacob? Out of all women, why Leah? You knew how Bella felt about her." Claire was now leaning over the table towards me, pleading with me to answer her.

But I couldn't find an answer in me. I had told them over and over that I hadn't done anything with Leah, but no one seemed to believe me, except Emily. Did they all doubt my love for Bella? Did they think I could honestly do that to the one woman I planned to spend the rest of my life with?

_They didn't know about the ring, dip shit. And it _has _taken you nine years to finally get around to asking. What kind of idiot am I? Oh, right. The kind that lets the love of his life walk away and doesn't try hard enough to stop her. Yep. That's me. _

I just stared at my hands in my lap, only looking up to see Emily place a cup of coffee and a plate with two muffins in front of me. She smiled apologetically at me. She seemed to understand more than the others. I had poured my heart and soul out to her the day I went to see Bella.

Emily sat and listened intently while I told her about how everything happened. I told her about Leah's advances, and our fight at the hospital. I told her about how the house was a desolate, godforsaken hole that held no allure to me with Bella gone. I yelled about Paul telling me about seeing Bella and the doctor at the coffee shop. About how she could just turn and run to him like what we were didn't matter to her anymore.

I cried to her, about how Bella rejected me at the book store, and how I gave her the ring I had bought for her, hoping that she could see that I wanted her no matter what. How Bella's hold on me was everlasting. That I would always want only Bella, and no other being would ever make me feel the things she did.

Emily never spoke while I was on my rant, letting me pour my heart out on the table between us. When I was done and I had nothing left to say, no more tears to cry, she finally offered a small piece of advice.

_Try harder. _

But how was I supposed to do that? I thought I gave her everything I had in me already. If only I had given her the ring sooner. If I had just made her listen.

_Hell, I don't know. Kissed her in the rain, or some other gooey love sick crap like that. Girls dig that shit, right? _

I tried calling her to talk, went by her job, hell, I even found where she was staying at now.

I just couldn't find it in me to go to the door though, for fear of looking like a psycho-stalker-ex-boyfriend. I settled for driving by at night sometimes just to make sure she was safe at home. _Or at least that's what I kept telling myself. _

I glanced at Claire to see her staring at me with an expectant look on her face. _Well, I'd better say something, or she'll never just let me be. _

"Claire, as many times as I've said it before, I really didn't do anything with-" I was interrupted by the back door opening.

Leah stood before us, her nose all different shades of broken with purple and blue bruises under her eyes, her hands on her hips.

"Damn, Leah haven't you ever heard of knocking? I don't know why you bother coming over here, you know none of us like you. Why don't you turn around and go get fucked up your-"

"Shut it, Claire. That's no way for you to talk to someone in my house. You need to apologize." Emily scolded.

"Like hell, I will. She's the reason that Bella's going through all this crap." Claire seethed, glaring at Leah. Undoubtedly Leah didn't realize, because she wouldn't pull her gaze away from me.

Emily rolled her eyes at her cousin. "Now," she turned to Leah, who was still staring at me with a mischievous grin on her face. "What do you need, Leah?"

Leah finally looked over at Emily, then cross her arms over her chest. "I just stopped by to tell Jake that I'm pressing charges on his ugly duckling. I talked to Charlie, that day that she attacked me in the restroom at the hospital and told him I wanted her locked up for what she did. After all, she started it."

I was pissed. How could she blame this on Bella? She had been taunting Bella for years. I clenched my fists under the table to try and hide my anger. I had never wanted to hit a woman like I did in that moment.

I glared at Leah, taking in large huffs of air, trying to calm my shaking body. I wanted to rip her throat out. I wanted to place her head between my giant palms and squeeze until her eyes bulged out of their sockets. _Chill Jake, she's not worth it. And she's not the _only _reason Bella left you. You're at fault as well._

So help me, if there was nothing else I could do for Bella, I would make sure this bitch left her alone. She didn't deserve any of this.

Part of me, and it was a small part of me wished for the smallest second that I had never met Bella. Only because I had caused her this pain and now this…what did Claire call her….a skeeze..? was trying to get her thrown in jail for something that was totally caused by said skeeze.

I wasn't in the restroom when shit went down that day, but I knew Bella well enough to know she wouldn't start something like that without an ample amount of provocation.

"Message delivered, now, if that's all you came to say, then you can, uh, kindly get the fuck out," Claire stood, and started toward Leah, pointing towards the still open door.

Leah started backing away from Claire towards the door. She reached up and touched the tip of her nose and winced at the light pressure. Emily stood with her mouth hanging slightly open in shock at what was taking place in her kitchen.

She had never been one for confrontation or violence. Especially after the too close encounter with that grizzly bear four years ago. Luckily, Sam was able to push her out of the way in time to take the mauling for her. The bear only managed to claw his back once, tearing through some muscles, and leaving three distinct pink scars from the middle of his shoulder blade to the bottom of his rib cage. But nothing that was too bad, given the circumstances, according to Sam. Jared managed to shoot the bear dead in its tracks before anything major was damaged.

Sam came out pretty lucky, only having to stay in the hospital for three nights to make sure that he would be able to function still. They kept him doped up on pain meds for awhile, but he didn't seem to really mind the vacation from reality. Now it was a thing to laugh about, looking back on that horrid day. His kids liked to tell everyone that their dad wrestled with grizzlies. That was always a way to get wide eyes from people who didn't know the story.

I was brought out of my memories when I heard Sam coming down the hall. "Damn, Claire. I swear you drop more curse words than any sailor I've ever heard of. Now what's the cause for all the commotion?" Sam asked walking into the kitchen and taking in the scene in front of him. His eyes fixed on Leah, and all sense of humor left his being.

"You need to leave. Now." he glared at her.

"I was just doing that, no need to get your panties in a knot," she said before walking out the door. "See you later, Jake," she called over her shoulder just before Claire slammed it behind her.

"Sure, Jake, didn't do anything with her, huh? I'm not as stupid as you seem to think," Claire scoffed as she glared at me.

I ran a hand over my face and rose to my feet, ready to leave this place that had always been a comfort to me. "Well, it's been a pleasure, Claire, like always. Tell Quil I said what's up, will ya? Thanks Em, for the muffins and coffee." She nodded at me and offered up a small smile in apology for her cousins' crude comments. I turned for the front of the house, never so ready to get to work more than at that moment. Sam quickly followed suit after placing a chaste kiss on Emily's lips.

We drove to work in a comfortable silence, neither of us wanting to talk about the things that happened that morning. We made it to work just before Quil, and got started taking the front bumper off of an Audi A4. Apparently Dr. Gerander's wife didn't see the curb in front of her and ran over it, cracking the oil pan. It wasn't a hard task to replace it, just time consuming to get to.

We finished the car by lunch time, and headed over to the diner for lunch. I didn't really like going to eat there because it reminded me of the many nights Bella and I ate there with Charlie. It was just another reminder of the things that I had lost.

We sat down at a booth in the corner, waiting for Stacy to take our order.

"So, I heard Leah found you this morning," Quil started, I just rolled my eyes and buried my face in my arms on the table. "Pretty shitty what she's doin' to Bella. Pretty shitty what you_ both _did to her," he mumbled the last part.

With that, my head snapped up out of my arms, and my fist came flying down on the table, hard.

"Dammit, Quil. _I _didn't do anything to Bella. _She _left _me_, remember? Or did you forget what you walked up on at the hospital? I'd never touch Leah, unlike _you_. I guess you forgot about that time a few years back when you were the one caught with her in that little cave on the beach, huh?"

Quil glared at me like he wanted to rip my head off, but I didn't care. He was making assumptions that he really knew nothing about.

"Let's just calm down, and enjoy our lunch, huh? No need to bring up anyone's past, I'm sure everyone has something in their closet they'd rather not put on display," Sam was trying to calm us down and stop us from making a scene, but I was already pissed.

"Yeah, I'm sure that's true. Seeing as it wasn't that long ago, you were the one with Leah. But no one needs to know about that, huh, Sam? Ya know, I don't get it. All of you have been with that whore, sometimes at the same time. I'm the only one who has never done anything with her. Yet, all of you get to keep your happy fucking lives with your wives and kids and I'm the one who loses it all. Doesn't make sense," I trailed off as I raked a hand through my hair and shook my head.

They both glared at me, along with other people who were trying to enjoy their lunches, but were interrupted by my outburst. Stacy came over warily and asked if she could get us anything, "No, I'm actually not that hungry now. In fact, I think I'll take the rest of the day off. I'm feeling pretty sick right about now," I looked at Sam, daring him to object, but he just looked away, and waved a hand at me dismissively.

I stood and walked to my truck without another glance or word to either one of them. I felt horrible about airing their dirty laundry, but it just wasn't fair. I couldn't stand being around all of them and their happy little lives in their happy little worlds with their happy little families. All the while my world was falling apart.

I drove around Forks, not really knowing where to go. I wasn't going back to work, and I sure as hell wasn't going back to the house. I only went there when it was absolutely necessary, which was when I was too tired to stand and needed to crash.

But there was a small solace in my solitude when I was there. Laying in bed at night, alone in the dark, clinging to her old pillow. I could still smell the scent of her, and it eased the ache that was ripping me apart deep in my chest. I was able to let go of the anger and hurt and just be, for a moment before I drifted off to dreams of our times together.

I didn't realize how fast I was going or the lights behind me until I heard the siren of a police cruiser. I looked down at my speedometer to see that I was doing fifty-five in a forty mile per hour speed zone. Then I glanced in my rear view mirror, only to be met with chocolate brown eyes, just like _hers_.

I took a deep breath and pulled over to the shoulder, not totally prepared for what Charlie would have to say to me. I rolled down my window and waited while he climbed out of his cruiser and walked up to the side of my truck.

"Jacob," he said, half way between his official police business tone and a friendly greeting.

"Chief," I said nodding my head slightly in his direction.

"Now what's this chief business Jake, you've always called me Charlie? And don't say it's because of your break up with Bella. I've already heard, trust me," he ran a hand over his face.

"Sorry Charlie, I just…figured you'd be mad at me like everyone else."

I cringed when I saw the look of pity set across his features. _No, not the pity. I don't need pity right now. _

"Well, you know Jake, I'm not everyone else. I know Bella. And I also know that she can overreact and make things worse than they really are. Like all this mess with Leah Clearwater. Can't believe that she'd pull somethin' like that, but between you and me; I'm glad to know Bella can handle herself," he gave a small chuckle, then furrowed his brow. "Speaking of which, Leah tells me you were there to see Bella attack her. Know anything about that?"

He was going from Charlie to Chief Swan, so I told him what I knew.

"No sir, I got there after everything started, and pulled Bella off of her. Paul saw, or heard, more than I did."

"Well, I'm not sure what I can do, but I'm not going to arrest my daughter for something this girl has been bringing on herself for years now. But anyway, I guess I'd better get out of here, my shift's almost over, then I'm heading out to see your dad. Slow down next time, Jake, no need to be in such a hurry. I'd hate to have to take you in for speeding," Charlie patted my window and turned to head back towards his cruiser.

I didn't know what to say, so I just gave him a simple thanks.

"Oh, and Jake, you know sometimes a little effort can go along way. Even with someone as stubborn as Bella." Before I could respond, he was in the cruiser and pulling back onto the road.

I sat there for a moment, not knowing what to make of his comment. Well, I knew what he meant, but what more could I do?

_What was with everyone telling me to try harder? _

I pulled back onto the road, and drove down to First Beach. This was one place where I could think about everything or nothing. I could be content to sit for hours, just me and my thoughts of Bella.

**A/N: So, I hope that covered Charlie's POV as well as what Jake has been up to. Claire's a little feisty, no? **

**Song for this chapter: **_**Suppose by Secondhand Serenade**_**. And forgot one on the chapter when Jake went to the book store. That one was **_**Life is for Living by Coldplay.**_

**Once again, let me know what you liked, hated, you know the drill.**

**Also, if you didn't already know, Golden Lemon Awards is now open for voting. Lots of smutty smut smut that way, so if you're into that kind of reading you might want to head over there and cast your vote before Feb. 13. Lots of good stories nominated like CW&IA, Wide Awake, and many others. Just thought I'd let yall know. **

**Chapters may start taking a little longer after this coming week, Opening Ceremonies for T-ball are this coming Saturday, so I'll be busy, busy, busy. **

**Thanks for reading, and if you didn't get the 'greenish brown female sheep' it's olive ewe. (I love you)**


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N: Whew! ::wipes sweat from brow:: That was a long one. Break that is. Sorry it took me so long to update, I really have no excuse other than I got stuck. ::shrugs:: sorry guys. But, the story shall continue now. I won't bore you with a long A/N now, I'll do that at the bottom. See ya there! ;)**

**JPOV**

Bella wanted time. Everyone else said to try harder. I had tried to get her to talk to me and to listen, but she just wouldn't. I needed to find a way to make her see, but I was coming up short.

I had done a lot of thinking that day on the beach, I guess you could call it soul searching. There were a lot of things that I wanted to do in my life, and although I wished like hell Bella would be there with me to do them, I needed to understand that wasn't going to happen now.

She was gone, and as much as I couldn't face the fact, I had to try to let her go. I figured that even though she didn't want to be with me anymore, maybe she'd still let me be her friend. And that's one thing I could do. I could shove my feelings aside and be there for her. Just like I had always tried to be.

I left her alone for about two weeks, but then I couldn't stay away. I had to see her, and the only place I felt could be somewhat neutral ground was the book store. She never came to the shop anymore and I didn't want to stop by her house unannounced, so the book shop became my only option.

Everyday I would send her a dozen bouquets of Forget-Me-Nots. It was my not so subtle way of telling her that I didn't want her to think I didn't miss her. I wanted her to know that I was here for her always.

The only problem was, this was always subject to change.

~o0o~

"Mr. Black, this is Mr. Jenks. I was just wanting to let you know that all of the paperwork is in order and ready to be signed. What would be a good time for you to drop by the office so you can do that, sir?"

"Oh, I can stop by today if that's okay with you. This is usually the slowest day of the week we have at the shop and I actually have some things to do today, so I can probably stop by." I informed him.

"That would be great, Mr. Black. The sooner the better, as I always say. Have you arranged for Mrs. Black to come in and sign the papers as well?" This was the one thing that was holding everything up. I had been avoiding telling her like the plague.

"Oh, ah, no I haven't. I was wondering if perhaps I could bring the papers to her, and return them when they are signed."

"Of course, that will be fine, Mr. Black. Let me know if there is anything else we can do for you."

"I will, and thanks again." I ended the phone call and made my way to the truck, headed to the book store for my daily visit with Bella.

**BPOV**

They say absence makes the heart grow fonder. I'm not totally convinced of this. It had been seven weeks since Edward had been to my house and my father had interrupted what I thought would be my first kiss with him. There weren't many phone calls between us, but we texted some.

His visit to his parents' seemed to be indefinitely at this point. Once he arrived at his parents' house, he called to let me know that there was some sort of family emergency. I didn't ask, and he didn't tell. The truth was, I think I may have saw into this _thing _ a little more than I should have.

Edward was a nice guy, but he just wasn't around. Not that I wanted someone around constantly, but I would have liked to see him every now and then.

I had tried to keep busy with the shop and avoiding Jacob, but he was persistent as ever. It was becoming somewhat aggravating to show up to work and have a dozen bouquets of forget-me-nots waiting on the stoop for me.

I would carry them in and spread them out around the shop, not because Jake had sent them to me, it just so happened that they were my favorite flower. Sensible was seeing a double meaning here and I had to agree with her.

~o0o~

I was sitting at the shop looking over the shipment receipts when the door opened and in walked Jacob. He was handsome as ever, but I didn't want him to see that he could still affect me, so I just glanced back down at the receipts in front of me.

"Hey Bells," he said as he leaned on the counter.

"Jacob," I answered, keeping my focus on the papers in front of me.

"So, what cha' doin' today?" he asked, sounding rather cheerful. I looked up at him to be greeted by his very toothy grin, wondering how could he not tell what I was doing today. _I was working...duh._

"Well, it would seem you came to my job, so I am probably working, Jake. Why?" I probably threw in a little too much edge on the end, but I wished he would just drop the I'm-trying-not-to-show-you-how-hurt-I-am-because-you-left-me act. But to tell the truth, with Edward being gone, it was nice to have someone coming to see me.

Things between us hadn't been so strained like when I first left him. It felt as if we were in high school again, it was easy to talk to him, although I was still annoyed that he was around every day. Senseless, Sensible and myself all had mixed feelings on this whole thing.

"Man, what crawled up your ass, I was just coming by to see if you wanted to come by the house later." Jake looked a small bit dejected by my tone. I felt bad for being ugly to him, but not too bad.

Senseless scowled at Jake for asking me over, I hadn't been there since I gathered my things and moved out.

"Umm, I'm not sure that's a great idea, Jake. I don't mean to sound rude, but...I don't really want to go back there." Senseless and Sensible both seemed to have their own perception as to _where_ I didn't want to go back to.

Senseless seemed to think it was back to the relationship that I once had with him. Sensible seemed to know it was the house. I had to give it to them, they were both right.

I looked up into his eyes, finally making eye contact with him. He looked so tired. So worn. Part of my heart broke for him. I knew I had done this to him; I had been the one to break this man. I pushed those thoughts aside, because right now I couldn't worry about how I had hurt him. I needed to focus on me; on what I needed and wanted.

"Please don't be like that Bells. I want to tell you something, and I think the house is the perfect place to tell you. Please? We can order pizza and have a couple of beers. Maybe watch a movie or something." He whipped out the big sad puppy dog eyes I couldn't say no to.

Senseless was stomping her foot before I could even get the words out. "Fine. But we're not watching a movie, I've missed a lot of these shipment orders and I need to get the books straight this week." His mood lifted automatically.

"No, no. That's fine. Just stop by, say, around six?"

"Sure Jake, now let me get to work. The more I get done now, the longer I can stay and hear whatever this big secret is you want to tell me." I rolled my eyes at him playfully.

"No problem, I need to get going anyway. I have some last minute things I need to get in order. Call me if you want to get lunch or something," he said as he walked towards the door.

"Thanks, but I brought my lunch. Bye Jake." I called after him.

I returned to my papers, thoughts running rampid through my mind of what he could want to tell me. I couldn't concentrate on the shipping receipts and today had been a slow day. So when Mrs. Montgomery finished picking out a cookbook for her granddaughter who was heading to college in the fall, I cashed out and closed the shop early.

I started to drive around town, with no where to go. I ended up on the 101, turning off onto 110 towards La Push. I don't know why that was where I was headed, I was just following the road.

Senseless had hidden behind her chaise lounge and hadn't been seen since I agreed to go to Jake's house tonight. Sensible was sitting in her leather chair with her hair pinned high in a bun and her glasses sitting on the tip of her nose. She had a yellow note pad on her lap and was tapping a pen against the paper, as if waiting for me to tell her what I was up to.

But what could I tell her? I had no idea what I was doing or where I was going. It was as if I was being led by some force of nature. I parked the truck in the parking area and walked down to the log we always sat on. _Our log. _

If I was going to be honest, and I felt since I was alone that I could be, as much as Jake had hurt me with Leah, I still loved him. Part of me still wanted to be with him. We hadn't been apart very long, and considering how much he stopped by the shop, it didn't really seem like we were. I did miss him at night.

If we were somewhere else, anywhere else, I may have been able to look past all of it. But not in a town the size of a pea. Not when everyone knew when you sneezed. I just couldn't deal with the public humility of all of it. And for a bit more honesty, I had too much pride.

I sat there for a long time, just watching the waves crash on the shore and carry the grains of sand back into the ocean. A ton of different things ran through my mind from him telling me he wanted me back to him telling me he hated my guts. I couldn't blame him for the latter.

Sitting on our log, I thought about the first time he ever kissed me, or I should say I kissed him. It had been on this very log that I had my first kiss with my once upon a time soul mate.

~o0o~

It had been a cloudy day, but that wasn't unnatural for this part of the country. Everything was either varying shades of green or gray. But that was just how it was here, that was normal.

What didn't seem normal was how I was beginning to feel about my best friend. Jake and I had been hanging out since we were little, and now we were fourteen. We always went everywhere together and Charlie never gave me a hard time about being with Jake.

So when I found myself alone on the beach with him that night, it wasn't uncommon. We loved the beach and had played by this log for as long as I could remember. It was somewhat windy, and the air was growing rather chilly.

I pulled my hood over my head to protect my ears from the onslaught of the wind. Jake noticed that I was a little chilled, so he scooted closer to me and wrapped his arm around my shoulders, pulling me against his at the time bony chest. This wasn't unusual either, but what happened next sort of made me question what was going on.

I did have a crush on him partly because he was the best looking guy I had ever seen. But I liked to think I wasn't so shallow as to only like him for the way he looked. Jacob took care of me, protected me against anyone or anything that wanted to cause me harm. He was everything I wanted or needed him to be and more. I was happy to have him as my best friend.

"You okay Bells? You don't want to go home? You seem cold," he looked down at me through his long lashes. I glanced up, realizing that I had never looked into his eyes before. I mean, yes, I had looked him in the eye, but not as deep as that moment.

My gaze darted to his mouth where I watched his tongue peek out and ever so softly wipe along both his lips, wetting them for what I hoped would be my first kiss. I licked mine as well and waited with baited breath while he placed a finger under my jaw and lifted my chin upwards towards him.

He brought his face down to mine and I was sure he could hear me swallow, I was so nervous. When the tip of his nose brushed mine, I felt my eyelids flutter shut.

"Can I kiss you Bells?" he whispered, while pulling me closer to him. Unable to form words coherently and to save myself from the embarrassing answer I was sure I would give, I closed the gap between us and felt his lips upon mine.

I didn't know what to expect, but his tongue dancing alongside mine was nice and sort of weird. He tasted nice, what I could taste of him, that is. It was probably because of the Bubble Yum he was chewing, but it was a fruity flavor mixed with him. I was surprised when he pulled away first, but he just smiled and chuckled.

"You know, you can open your eyes now Bells. I know I look good, but I'm no god. You don' t have to worship me while blind. You can do it with your eyes open. Not bad for your first time, but we can practice more if you'd like." I could hear the smile in his voice and the teasing tone he had.

I opened my eyes, but not to worship him; I was leaving. He wasn't going to ask to kiss me and then tease me about it. There was one little problem though, he wouldn't let go. I tried and tried, but Jacob held on to me until I gave up completely. I sat there next to him until the moon was shining on the water.

My anger had dissipated and I was once again content with just being with him. We didn't talk much while we sat there, it was a comfortable silence between us. We didn't 'practice' anymore as he called it. We finally left when Billy called, wanting Jake to come home and to tell me Charlie was ready to leave.

~o0o~

When the sun was about to set along the waves, I figured it was close to six o'clock and that it was time to go see what Jake had to say. I walked back to the car and climbed in, making my way back towards Forks. I turned the radio on in hopes that music would occupy my mind. I flipped through the stations until I found a song I was familiar with.

_Maybe I'm to blame_

_Or maybe were the same_

_But either way I can't breathe_

_Either way I can't breathe_

_All I had to say is goodbye_

_We're better off this way_

_We're better off this way_

_I'm alive but I'm losing all my drive_

_Cause everything we've been through_

_And everything about you_

_Seemed to be a lie_

_A guiltless twisted lie_

_It made me learn to hate you_

_Or hate myself for letting it pass by..._

I pulled into the drive, and parked in my usual spot. Turning off the ignition, I gathered my purse and made my way to the door. It was somewhat nostalgic to be here, like this. It was as if I was just getting home from work and nothing was ever different; like this is how things were meant to be.

But things were different. This wasn't my house anymore, much less my home. I didn't belong here. Sensible laced up her Nikes and started stretching, preparing to make a break for it. I was on the same page as her, but before I could turn and head back to my car unnoticed, Jake was opening the front door holding two beers in his hands.

"Hey there beautiful. Glad to see you made it. Come on in, the pizza should be here any minute," he said while walking back inside. I followed him in and was dumbfounded by the sight before me.

There were tan boxes all over the place. All of the picture frames and random home decor items were no longer hanging on the walls. I didn't know what to make of the scene in front of me.

"Want a beer?" Jake asked as he watched me take in my once decorated home.

"Uhh, yeah. Sure," was all I could get out.

I took the beer he offered and walked through the house, trying to piece everything together. _What does this mean? Is he getting rid of all of our things?_

Senseless peeked out from behind her chaise and simply shrugged her shoulders before ducking back down to hide again. Sensible was just as bewildered as I was.

I knew it was hard for him, but never in a million years did I think he would get rid of our stuff. When I made it to the bedroom, I knew without a doubt that this is what he was doing. The sheets we had once shared were now no where to be found, having been replaced with a pair of flannel sheets that looked a size too small for our bed. The only trace of me that was left was my pillow that was thrown haphazardly on the foot of the bed.

I turned and went back to the living room. It was not making any sense to me why he would do this and not tell me. _Isn't it obvious? He doesn't want you or your stuff. But the hot doctor does. _Senseless was really getting on my last nerve.

"What's going on Jake?" I asked when I reached the couch and sat down, "Why is all of our things in boxes?"

He looked uncertain about how to tell me what was happening. His brow furrowed and he seemed to be trying to choose his words.

"Well, I wanted to talk to you about this after we ate, but I guess I might as-" Just then, the door bell rang, signaling the arrival of our pizza. Jake opened the door and payed the delivery man before walking our dinner into the kitchen.

All of the dishes were placed in boxes lining the walls, and there was a stack of paper plates on the counter. I grabbed two plates and handed one to Jake.

"So are you going to tell me what this is about?" I asked, taking a slice of pizza and placing it on my plate.

"Not yet. I'd like to just hang out with you first. So what did you do today?" He was at least not ignoring my question all together. He was just avoiding it for the moment. Two could play this.

"Not much, just hung around. What about you?" I didn't want to tell him I had thought about him all day at the beach on our log. That wasn't going to help him let go anymore.

He took a bite of his pizza and then told me he had done the same thing. He had visited his dad and then ran those errands he had to get done.

It was none of my business but these errands were making me curious. It wasn't like Jake to keep things from me, we were still friends. _Well, he kept Leah from you. _Sensible grabbed a roll of duct tape and chased Senseless around until she had her pinned to her chaise and taped her mouth shut.

We ate our pizza while conversing about our dads. He told me he ran into Charlie a couple of days before and was invited to the diner for lunch, but he declined, stating that he had some important errands to run. _What was with him and these damn errands? _ He also told me they had a fishing trip planned for the following Saturday. I told him about the new shipments we had received at the book store and how we were working on rearranging the shelves for a more open look.

After dinner, we sat out on the porch for a little while talking about when we were kids and how things were so easy then. We laughed and joked about all sorts of different things from way back when. We found ourselves in a somewhat awkward silence when it came to more recent memories. Neither of us were ready to acknowledge the uncomfortable air that had settled in around us.

I decided this was as good of a time as any to get my purse and head to my house. As I started to get up, Jake's monstrous sized hand wrapped gently around my wrist, holding me in place.

"Bella, please. Don't go. Not yet. I still need to tell you something." He was pleading with me with his eyes, and I couldn't find it in me to tell him no. So I told him I needed to get my purse and check my phone for any missed calls.

He let go and I walked into the house and grabbed my purse, digging in it to find my phone. When I found it, I opened it up to see that I had three missed calls from Edward as well as a text message.

**I'll b bak n town tw. I'll call u l8r. Pls try 2 ansr.**

I felt a sudden rush of joy at the thought of getting to see Edward again, but part of my heart hurt for some reason. Sensible felt the need to point out why that was, stating that it would complicate things with Jake more. I didn't want the thoughts of that sort to ruin my evening that I was spending with Jake. I threw my phone back in my purse and went to get two more beers out of the fridge.

When I reached the front door, Jake had his back against the siding of the house, his head tilted back, face lifting up to the sky, and his eyes closed. He had his hands clasped in front of him with his elbow resting on one knee and his other leg stretched out straight. I was flooded with memories of finding him like this on many nights when he wanted a breath of fresh air.

Realization began to set in and I remembered this was what I had given up. This was no longer a memory that I could count as mine. I felt like I was eaves dropping on a private moment, like I should turn and let him have his moment of clarity. He opened his eyes and smiled his very Jacob smile at me.

That smile could always warm me, even if we weren't together. He was still my best friend, after everything we had been through. Yes, I did wish he would give me some space every now and then, but I was happy to have him there when I felt alone.

It was just like when we were kids. Jake was always hanging on, and I was always trying to let go. I was trying to push him away, and he wouldn't have any such thing.

"Hey," he shifted to make more room for me to sit next to him.

"Hey." I smiled and handed him one of the beers.

"Thanks," he said while opening the beer and handing it back to me so he could open the second one. He kept that one and took a long pull from it.

"So," I said, taking a pull from my beer also.

"So," he sighed. His hesitation was really wearing on my nerves. "Can I ask you for something Bella? You can say no if you'd like, but it's just something I've missed and wondered if maybe you wouldn't mind." He seemed somewhat nervous.

"Sure Jake, what do you need?" I asked before taking another drink of my beer.

"A kiss." My eyes grew as big as saucers and I almost spit beer all over him.

"Now before you say anything, I know it's a strange request, but just one more time Bells. Please." He looked down at the steps below us as if he were suddenly regretting asking me for such a thing.

I looked at him and he met my gaze full force.

"Umm...Jake listen, I'm not too sure about that. I mean, even if I wanted too, I don't think it would be very appropriate, seeing as we're not together anymore and I'm sort of seeing Edw-" but before I could finish, his lips were on mine, moving in an all too familiar way.

I could feel all of his passion, all of his pain, all of the feelings that had come crashing to a halt when I told him I was leaving him. He poured so much emotion in his kiss and it caused a stinging sensation in the middle of my chest. I found myself unwilling to pull away. After everything that had happened between us, I still had so many feelings for him.

He slipped his tongue in my mouth and I granted him the entrance he wanted. I fisted my hands in his hair while his hands made the all too familiar journey down my sides and to my back where he placed them to pull me closer.

The bottled up emotions I had carried around for the last several weeks came crashing to the forefront of my heart and threw themselves down for everyone to see. I felt the tears begin to flood my eyes, but before any were released, he pulled away.

I missed this. I missed us. But I wasn't a fool to think that I could have it back. I wasn't convinced I wanted it back. Yes, it was comfortable and easy, but things were broken now. My trust, our connection, not to mention his heart.

"Bella, the reason I asked you to come here tonight is...well," he sighed and raked his fingers through his hair, not wanting to meet my gaze.

"Bella, I'm leaving."

And with those words, everything began to fall into place as well as the final break in my heart from Jacob Black.

**A/N: So...what'd you think? :) I know, I know, Bella's kinda flip floppy, buuuut it's Bella. When is she not like that? ;) JSYK, she isn't going to get any less flippity floppity any time soon. Thanks to those who are still reading, or any new readers. I noticed that since I wrote Rude Boy, more people are reading this. Thanks for that. Thanks to everyone who has read and commented and a special thanks to NewMoon02, Fairytale Romantic, and SMI4Life for helping getting me out of the rut known as writer's block. Yall chicks are truly awesome. **

**Okay, songs for this chapter are as follows: _Pretend _by: Secondhand Serenade and _Goodbye_ by: wait for it... SECONDHAND SERENADE! Yeah, I listen to them a lot when it comes to this story, I think their music fits it very well. The lyrics above are from their song _Goodbye. _**

**Hopefully I will update this again pretty soon, I have already started writing the next chapter. I do, however have other things I'm working on too, such as The Hard Arse, and a one shot for the Choose Me contest over on JBNP.**

**If you care to know, I tweet. Follow me if you'd like, the name is the same as it is here. It gets a little out there sometimes, especially when I want to rant, but I will post when I have updated so yeah...**

**It's been so long since I've updated that they changed the review button on me. So instead of the green, just hit that little bubble thing with the blue text and let me know how much you hate me or love me or how random I am. :) Thanks again! -km3-**


	11. Chapter 11

**Disclaimer: All things Twilight related are property of S. Meyer. I own no part of it. **

**A/N: Warning: Sexual content to follow. If you are not old enough to purchase a pack of cigarettes in the U.S.A., you are not old enough to read this story. Or at least this chapter. (FYI:that's 18 for those of you that don't know) You have been warned. Kthxbai. See you at the bottom. -km3-  
**

**~ Selfishness is that detestable vice which no one will forgive in others, and no one is without in himself. ~ Henry Ward Beecher**

**BPOV**

_He's leaving? _ When did this happen? How, _how_ could this happen? My brain couldn't grasp this fact. It was struggling to process what he meant when he said he leaving. Sensible and Senseless were both standing with their mouths gaping open. A small thought occurred to me that I, too, may have been staring at him with my mouth open.

I was finally able to form a coherent thought and close my mouth, only to re-open it to ask him, "What do you mean you're leaving? You mean, like for a little while, right? Just a mini vacation?"

I knew I was grasping at straws, that that wasn't what he meant, but I couldn't be sure. I had to at least hope that's what he meant. Looking in his eyes though, and seeing all of the emotions threatening to spill forth onto his russet cheeks, I knew different.

"No Bells," he breathed, "I'm moving." He looked down to the faded paint of the porch beneath us. The tears fell freely down my cheeks before I swiped at them with the back of my hands. I didn't want him to see that it upset me so much.

"When?" My voice betrayed me, allowing a tiny break at the end.

He glanced back up to my eyes. I saw the broken man again-not the one that I had spent the evening eating pizza and drinking beers with.

"Sunday. Today was my last day at the shop. That's why I asked you here. Bella, I'm selling the house."

I couldn't speak. My air was sucked from my lungs and my chest was caving in. He was selling the house. Our house. _He was selling our house._

"I've already handled everything, I just need you to sign the papers. There's going to be an open house here in two weeks. I'd be here if I could, but I have to go..." he trailed off when he saw that I couldn't respond.

After a few moments of my emotions flying around, I finally found one that I could grasp and hold onto. Anger. He was leaving and selling _our _house, and expecting me to just be okay with it.

Finally, I found my voice. Senseless and Sensible cowered behind the chaise.

"So you expect me to just sign papers so that you can sell _our_ house, and leave without telling me that you were planning to move?" I stood and stepped down in the yard so I could face him as well as walk off some of this anger. "You're giving up everything you have here for what? Why? There's no reason good enough for you to just walk away from this place. It's home, Jake. It's always been home, for both us of. And I'm not talking about just the house, I'm talking about Forks, La Push. You can't just throw it all away." I placed a hand on my hip while the other raked through my hair.

Jake stood and towered over me. "I'm not giving it up Bella, it's hard to give something up when it's been ripped away from you. When you left me, you took everything that meant something to me." He pointed to the house. "This house is nothing more than planks of wood with drywall and shingles. It means nothing to me without you here. Am I supposed to just sit here and watch you move on with that doctor, when every time I see you I want to hold you and kiss you and never let go? I can't do it anymore. It's killing me." The anger in his eyes dissipated into anguish.

I sat back down on the steps and placed my head in my hands. I didn't know what to say or do. I had made such a mess of things that I couldn't take them all back. All I could do was put my big girl panties on and deal with this like a grown up. It wasn't the fact that he was my ex-lover and he was moving. It was the fact that he was my friend, and I wouldn't get to see him anymore. I didn't even know where he was moving to.

"So three more days, huh? Okay. Do I have to be here for the Open House? Or just let them do their thing?" My voice was thick with emotion. I knew I couldn't make him stay, but knowing he was leaving because of me was really hard to deal with.

Jake continued to stand, but leaned against the side of the house, right next to the steps.

"Yeah, I have the fishing trip with Billy and Charlie Saturday, then Sunday morning I'm leaving. You don't need to be here for the Open House, it's actually preferred that the owners aren't' here." he crossed his arms over his chest and sighed deeply.

"I'm sorry Jake. I really am." The words were out of my mouth before I had thought to really say them aloud. I let the tears run freely this time, not caring to wipe them away.

"Don't be Bells. It happens. What's that song by Rob Thomas? Mockingbird? I think that fits us perfectly. Wouldn't you agree?" He sat down next to me and nudged me with his shoulder before taking my hand in his.

A sob escaped when he mentioned that song and how it 'fit us perfectly'. I had been listening to it a lot here lately, and it did fit us. Perfectly.

A thought crossed my mind while we sat silently. I had no right to ask, but I was selfish when it came to Jacob. But first, I wanted to know where he would be moving to, so I asked that question instead.

"Portland. I have a job working at another shop down there. Sam set it up for me. I start Tuesday." He rubbed circles on the back of my hand with his thumb.

"Can I...can I...Jake can I stay here tonight? It's okay if you say no, I just want one more night here. If you don't want me to, I can stay here once more when you're gone, but I just figured there was furniture here now, and there won't be when you leave. I can stay on the couch, I don't have to take the bed, it's yours after all..." I rambled.

Senseless rose from behind the chaise and glared at me with her hands on her hips. She assumed I wanted one more night with Jacob, and she wasn't wrong in her assumption-it just wasn't how she thought.

He turned towards me looked confused. "Why would you ever have to ask, Bella? This is your house just as much as it is mine. Of course you can stay here, you don't have to wait for me to leave. And you can have the bed, I can take the couch or the floor if you'd like. Come on, it's getting late anyway. Now you can watch that movie with me."

He stood and I followed him into the house, never letting go of his hand. We walked into the living room where I took a seat on the couch in the middle and he went to the entertainment center to pick out a movie.

"So, all I have is The Notebook, Pride and Prejudice, and With Love from Paris. I know you aren't big on action and blood, so what will it be? The Notebook or Pride and Prejudice? I'm up for some Mr. Darcy and Miss Elizabeth Bennett, although neither movie really did the books justice, right Bells?" He turned and shot me a very Jacob smile. He was teasing me. And I would miss this.

"You're right Jake, but I think I'm up for The Notebook. But it really doesn't matter to me, I'm good with both." I tucked my legs to my chest and wrapped my arms around them.

"The Notebook it is then." He slid the disk out and placed it in the DVD player before sitting next to me on the couch. He laid his arm across the back of the couch and I curled into his side. The movie started and we stayed sitting in our positions, glued to one another. He was so warm and cheerful. I felt like if I sat close enough I could soak up enough of his warmth and smell to last until I saw him again. I knew it was a long shot, but it was worth a try.

I couldn't stand to watch when Allie left, that part hit too close to home. I buried my face in Jake's arm and ended up falling asleep. I woke up when he carried me to the bed in our old room. The TV was blinking the blue DVD logo across a black screen. The sky was still black outside, but for once it wasn't raining.

I wrapped my arms around his neck, but too quickly I was deposited onto the bed. He had pulled the sheets back and laid me down ever so gently. When he went to move away, I clung to his neck.

"Jake, please don't go. Just stay." I whispered to him, my breath brushing across his face. What I had said could have had two meanings, and I knew this. But I also knew he had to go. He had to do it for himself. And being a friend to him, I wouldn't stand in his way.

"Bells," he looked torn. Like he wanted to stay, but knew he shouldn't. Before he could say anything else, I stopped him by pressing my lips to his. It was soft, just a brush of my lips against with the smallest amount of pressure.

"Please, I'm not asking for anything else, I'm just asking you to stay right here with me for the night. Just like before; just Jake and Bells."

He thought it over for a second while he stared into my eyes. I caught a look in them that said he didn't trust my intentions, but that was quickly replaced with another. Compliance.

"Okay, just let me go change." He pried my hands from around his neck and walked into the bathroom. I wasn't sure whether it was inappropriate for me to take off my clothes and sleep in my panties in bra, but my clothes were pretty stiff and not exactly sleeping attire.

I climbed off the bed and went to the dresser where I knew I would find Jacob's t-shirts. I opened the drawer and picked the one on the top. It was a gray, standard cotton, shirt that said 'Hard Hitters' in white with orange piping. He got it when he played for recreational baseball team in Port Angeles.

I stripped of my clothes, tossing my bra off to the side, but keeping my panties on. They weren't anything fancy; just a plain black pair of cotton low rise panties. I pulled the shirt on over my head and turned to find Jake in the door way, leaning against the frame and watching me. He stood before me in nothing but a pair of mesh shorts. I knew he wasn't meaning anything when he came in like that, it was just how he slept.

"You always did prefer that shirt. Not sure why, it's always been so big on you." He walked over and climbed onto his side of the bed, pulling the sheet up to his waist and tossing the blanket to the foot of the bed.

I walked over to what was once my side and climbed in, pulling the sheet up to my chin.

"You never will get it will you? The bigger ones are always more comfortable. I don't feel like I'm trapped in them." I teased.

I rolled over, facing away from him, but scooted towards the middle of the bed. Everything smelt like Jake. The sheets, the pillows, the whole room. I would miss this too, not that I didn't already, but I would never get to have this again. With him staying here, there was always a chance that things might reconcile themselves. But he was leaving.

The bed shifted under his weight as he moved towards the middle of the bed. I could feel his breath on my neck and the warmth of his body, but he wasn't touching me. He kept enough distance in between us that I couldn't physically feel him and that bothered me.

"Jake, can you...can you maybe...wrap your arm around me?" My voice was just above a whisper.

He didn't answer with words, but instead wrapped his arm around me and pulled me into his chest. I turned over to face him and placed a hand on his chest. His embrace grew tighter around me as he inhaled deeply.

"Bella, I-" he started and his breathing was shaky, but I interrupted him with another tender kiss on his silky lips before he could say anything else.

He didn't resist me and responded appreciatively. My tongue slid forth and danced along his lips until he granted me access. I was hungry for him. I wanted every part of him that he was willing to give me. He gripped the shirt I was wearing and a small moan escaped him. I, too, released a small whimper of my own from finally having something I didn't realize I missed so we finally broke away from each other, I placed feather light kisses along his chest and his shoulders.

I knew what I was doing was wrong, but I didn't care. I wanted one more time with Jake before he was gone and I wouldn't see him anymore. I had taken him for granted in the past, but at that moment I needed him to make it all better for me.

I knew when all things came to light in the morning with the rising sun, I couldn't take it back. _But did that really matter?_ I couldn't take anything back, so no- it didn't.

**JPOV**

I held her to me just as I had on many nights in the past nine and a half years. Her scent was all around me; ever consuming and invading all of my senses. I could smell her in the air, feel her lips pressed against my chest, see her here in _our_ bed, hear her breathing softly, and now taste her on my lips.

I knew things weren't ever going to be the same as they once were, but I wanted to enjoy these last moments I had with her before I left for Portland. She was my everything, and if this was all I could have of her, then I would greedily take anything she had to offer.

I wanted this as much as she seemed to want it, but I had to ask her to be sure she wouldn't regret it.

"Bells, what are you doing?" My voice was thick with all the emotions I felt for her.

"Jake, please, just make it all better, just this one time. I'm sorry for everything I did. I'm sorry, and I know that doesn't make it better, but please Jake. Just make me forget it all-just for tonight." A sob broke free halfway through her plea with me to 'make it all better.'

"What exactly are you asking of me? How do I do that?" She was crying and if there was anything I hated to see was my Bells crying-especially because of me.

She started to wriggle out of my grasp and I didn't want to let her go, so I held on tighter to her. She pushed my arm from around her and moved up to place a kiss on my lips once again. This kiss was different though, it was hard, and absolute. Our lips were unwavering in this silent battle they were having.

My grip on her loosened and she moved to straddle my hips. Our lips parted long enough for her to remove the shirt she was wearing. I soaked in every inch of her with my eyes. She sat before me, on me, in all of her beautiful glory.

I placed my hands on her hips and pulled her down to me. I consumed her mouth with mine again, savoring the taste of all things Bella. She ground her hips into mine and moaned when she felt me rock hard beneath her.

She never broke the kiss as her nimble fingers found the waist band of my shorts and began tugging them down. I lifted my hips to allow her to remove them fully.

When she was done pulling the offending article down my legs, I flipped her over onto her back. She gasped at the movement and reward me with a very bright smile. I returned the smile and asked if I could remove the only thing keeping her from being completely nude.

Bella nodded her head while she bit her bottom lip. I swear she would chew it off one day from how much she bit on it. She planted her heels in the bed and lifted her hips while I hooked my fore-fingers into the sides of her panties and slowly slid them down her ivory colored legs.

I tossed her panties to the floor before repositioning myself above her. I was aligned with her entrance, but I wasn't ready to plunge into her yet. I wanted to adore her body one last time. I kissed every inch of her-her face, her arms, her hands, her breasts, her stomach, her legs her feet.

I made my way back up the juncture between her thighs and tasted her. She was as sweet as ever. I lavished her with kisses and soft licks before focusing my tongue on her nub and placing two fingers inside her.

She moaned and arched her back off of the bed. I would miss having this effect on her. I would miss watching her body react this way to me. _Because of me._

I felt her body start to tremble, but I wasn't ready to let her have her release yet. I removed my fingers and mouth from her core and rose to kiss her on her full lips. She moaned and ground her hips against my left leg that was laying between her legs.

I was finally ready to plunge into her warmth, so I re-aligned myself with her opening and thrust into her. We both groaned out at the feel and I caught a single tear that slipped down her cheek with my lips. My sight became blurry with my own tears.

I blinked them away and watched as they fell to her chest. She pulled my down on her and began moving her hips to the same rhythm as mine. We moved together in what seemed like an intricate dance choreographed by each others' bodies.

Our chests rose and fell together to the rhythm of our movements. There was no shouting of expletives or cries of passion. The only sounds were our labored breathing. When we were close to our mutual climaxes I wrapped my arms under her back and held her as close to me as I could get her.

I poured everything I had into her with three final thrusts. Her body quaked and her muscles clenched around me soon after. I laid on top of her for a moment, allowing my breathing to return to normal.

When I had finally caught my breath I pulled out of her and rolled on my side, bringing her with me. She laid her head on my arm and I held her tightly to my chest. I didn't want this moment to end. I wanted her to stay with me forever this way. Just the two of us, just Jake and Bells. Like we were supposed to be.

The black abyss of sleep was trying to overtake me, but I fought to keep my eyes opened. I was greedy and wanted to soak in every little detail. Bella had fallen asleep a while ago, but I couldn't find it in me to waste a minute by dreaming of what I had here in my arms.

I laid there awake watching her breathe and occasionally smile. My name left her lips twice, causing me to hold her a little tighter. I watched out the window as the sky started to fade from the blackness of night to the dreary grays of morning. I finally drifted off as the bright rays of the sun tried to break through the clouds, failing miserably.

I drifted off to a dream starring Bella and myself. Our life played out before me just as it should have gone. I saw our wedding and our children being born. I watched as we grew old together and sat on our porch in our rocking chairs, watching our grand kids play in the yard.

I felt soft lips brush across my lips and looked over to see a gray haired Bella sitting next to me. She was many years older, but just as beautiful as the day I had first laid eyes on her.

"I love you Jake," she whispered.

"I love you too, Bells," I tried to say, but no words came out. I had no voice.

I awoke to the sound of my phone ringing across the room. I glanced over and saw nothing but an empty spot where Bella had laid the night before. I could still smell her on the sheets and around me. A tiny sliver of my heart broke off into pieces because she was gone without saying anything.

I climbed out of bed and went to grab my phone. I picked it up and noticed that it was Embry calling. Not feeling in the mood to talk to him, I went to lay my phone back down. I noticed a manila envelope with a small folded piece of paper laying next to where my phone had been. The envelope contained the papers Bella had needed to sign so I could sell the house. I glanced over them and saw her signature on every page that needed it.

Going back to the bed, folded piece of paper in hand, I sat on the edge and read what she had to say.

_Dear Jake, _

_I'm sorry this is all I can leave you with. Thank you for always being here for me, I'm really going to miss you. You are a great friend to anyone who has the chance to get that close to you. I hope you come back and see us sometime. Enjoy Portland, and I hope you find everything you're looking for. _

_-Bella_

I crumbled up the paper and threw it into the corner before climbing back into bed to try and find my way back to my dream. That was where I was happy, that was where things made sense.

**A/N: Don't hate me for this, it had to happen, or at least he thinks so. Let me know what you think, I'd love to hear your thoughts. If you want some humor and some awkward moments for Bella and Jake, check out my other story The Hard Arse. Songs mentioned in this chapter are _Mockingbird _by Rob Thomas, and I think...that's the only one. If I'm wrong, please feel free to not call me on it. Songs that helped out here were _Like You'll Never See Me Again _by Alicia Keys, _Pretend _by Secondhand Serenade, and _No Surprise _by Daughtry. I hope to update soon, and just in case you're wondering, he won't be gone for long. Thanks for reading, -km3-**


	12. Chapter 12

**Disclaimer: I don't own any part of the Twilight Saga such as characters, but I do however have a very crappy phone that likes to make prank calls at all hours of the night. **

**A/N: I know it's been a while, and I'm really sorry. I found this thing called writer's block and then I found this other thing called Real Life and they both kicked my ass. Hard. But, I finally got this out, and none of you will like me for this, but it happened. You've waited long enough, so on with it already...**

**BPOV**

I drove away from Jake's house, not sure what I had just done.

That's a lie.

I knew exactly what I had done, and I deserved all of the pain that was ripping me apart at the moment. I had to keep it at bay until I made it to the safety of my house. My vision was blurry as I pulled onto my road and into my gravel drive. I turned off the ignition and leaned my head against the steering wheel, letting the full impact of what I had just done wash through me.

My heart shattered into a million shards of itty bitty pieces that fell to the pit of my stomach. Wave after wave of dysphoria rolled over me and crashed into my already mangled heart. I was a horrible person. So horrible for what I had done to Jake weeks ago, and horrible for what I made him endure last night. I knew he still loved me and would do anything for me, and I took full advantage of that fact. I was still unclear about everything that had gone on with him and _Leah_, but I couldn't get it off of my mind. While I lay there with Jake last night, if felt like it always had – natural, as if that was how we were meant to be. But he was leaving. And he didn't ask me to go with him. If he really wanted me, he would have asked me to go, right?

Last night had been so beautiful, it was like our first time all over again. Everything was so sweet as we took our time pouring everything out to each other with our bodies. He worshiped every inch of me with all of him, and I greedily took everything he had to offer. I slept better last night than I had since this whole screwed up thing started.

I had no desire to get out of my car and walk the thirty feet to my front door. I didn't care that I was supposed to be at work in two hours and I needed to get cleaned up. I smelt of stale beer, but more than anything, I smelt of Jake. I wasn't ready to rid myself of that scent yet.

After sitting there crying for everything that I had ruined and would never have again, I felt it was time to finally get out of the car and face the day. I had no more tears left to cry, and I had promised myself long ago that I would never cry another tear for Jacob Black.

I trudged to the front porch, retrieving my keys from my purse and unlocking the door. Senseless was glad to be home, but Sensible longed to be elsewhere. She yearned for something that was lost to us now.

I took a quick shower and pulled on a fitted pair of khaki slacks and a black button down shirt with the sleeves ending right above the elbows. I slipped on my black flats and pulled my hair into a messy bun. Make-up was not a necessity; after the amount of time I sat in my car crying this morning, there wasn't enough time to really apply any, nor was there enough make up in the world to cover up my puffy, swollen eyes and blotchy red nose. I was willing to let the world see how broken I was, even if I wouldn't allow Jake to see it.

I grabbed my purse and headed back out to my car, hoping to make it by the coffee shop on my way to work. I locked the door and turned for the car, only to be greeted by a bright, smiling face I hadn't seen in quite some time.

"Bella," Edward smiled at me as he leaned against my tattered old car.

I smiled at him, but as soon as I saw how big he smiled, mine faltered greatly. How could I be happy to see him after what I had just done? We weren't together _together, _but I still felt guilty for what I had done with Jake last night.

Senseless shot me a look that said 'you're in trouble now!' I inwardly cringed, seeing as how she was probably right. Sensible however, offered an apologetic smile.

I wasn't blind to how two parts of me – two equally screwed up parts that both seemed to be somewhat of a martyr – clung to two completely opposite people. They both wanted two different things, one being Edward because he was new and beautiful, and new was always exciting and adventurous. Where Jake was old, and comfortable and...like going home. But I couldn't go home, my home was no longer here. My home was leaving me to find something else, and give me space he felt I needed.

I was torn. Torn between new and exciting, or old and comfortable.

Edward walked toward me, having noticed the bright smile I felt for him fade to a meager product of its former state.

I didn't want him to feel like I wasn't happy to see him, I was, but I felt ashamed of myself. This man wanted to know me, _me-_Isabella Marie Swan, heart breaker and soul stealer. Okay, maybe soul stealer was a little much, but still.

"Edward, what are you doing here? I thought you were coming back.." Then it dawned on me, today was yesterday's tomorrow. "Oh. Sorry, slow moment, my days are running together." I laughed nervously, hoping he couldn't sense the shame I had for myself and my greedy actions.

"Well, it turns out they didn't need me there anymore, so I was free to come home. I haven't even made it my house yet. I couldn't wait to see you. Sorry, that may be a little forward." I blushed at his statement.

"No, it's okay, I was just heading to work. I'm glad you stopped by." I said, closing the distance between us. He leaned in to give me a hug, which I returned. There was a sense of comfort I felt being this close to him, but nothing compared to how I felt with Jake last night.

He held on, and breathed a sigh of...relief? I pulled away after a while, needing to head for work already and possibly distance myself from the feelings of guilt I felt in his presence. He placed his hands on my shoulders and really looked at me like he was searching for the answers to life.

"Bella, are you okay, you look like you've been crying. Is something wrong?" Worry spread across his perfect features and once again, I felt my heart break just a bit more.

"Oh, no. Nothing's wrong, I'm just...not having that great of a start to today, that's all. You know, women's emotions, they're all over the place." I chuckled, hoping he would drop it.

"Well, I completely understand that, my mother was...well let's just say, I had an interesting trip. I can tell you all about it some other time. I see you need to get to work, and I have some unpacking I have to do before I head to the office to catch up on some things."

"Yeah, I do. Angela's off today, so it'll be just me there. I'll call you later, okay?" I began to back towards my car, and fish for the car key on my key ring.

"Sure, that's fine. How about dinner tomorrow night in Port Angeles?" He opened my car door and closed it once I was seated inside.

"Um, I'll have to see, but I'm sure it wouldn't be a problem." I put the key in the ignition, turning it over, and putting the car in reverse.

"Great, just let me know. See you later, Bella." He patted the roof of my car before I slowly backed out of the drive. I watched in the rear view mirror as he gracefully climbed in his car and pulled away from my house.

I didn't have time to stop by the coffee shop. The day was not starting at all how I had hoped it would. I still had all of the shipment invoices to go over and books to stock. I really wished Angela could have picked a different day to want to spend time with Ben, but what can you do? She did deserve time for her and her husband.

The morning wasn't busy, so most of my time was spent thinking about Jake and Edward. I loved Jake, but I just couldn't get over what he did. I know sleeping with him last night was not the best way to say that I didn't want to be with him, but like I had said many times before to myself, I was selfish. I wanted all of him, just not the cheating parts. I wish there was a way I could mold the perfect man out of clay, sorta like Phoebe and Paige did for Piper in that one episode of Charmed, but without all the magic stuff tied in.

Edward was a really nice guy, and although I had only gone to coffee with him once and had him over to my house one time, I still felt comfortable with him. He was like a breath of fresh air in the madness I called my life. There wasn't much to our relationship though, it was mainly just texts and the occasional times we got to see each other. Edward just seemed like a great guy, and even though I didn't really know what was going to happen between us – whether or not we were going to begin dating or whatnot- I didn't want to get too close to him for fear that I may one day hurt him, or God forbid, him hurt me.

I just couldn't take anymore of being hurt by the opposite sex.

I ate lunch in the back office, not once being interrupted by someone coming into the shop. The rest of the day passed just as slowly as it had started. Only three people came in after my hour long lunch break, all purchasing a book and leaving soon after. Jake didn't make his usual stop by the shop, nor did I receive my daily delivery of forget-me-nots.

This worried me some, and only added to the things on my mind as I finished up my shipment orders and book stocking, and waited for six o'clock to roll around. When it was five til six, I counted down the drawer, made out a deposit slip for the following morning, and left.

On my way home, my phone buzzed. I retrieved it from my purse, and noticed it was Charlie calling.

"Hey dad, what's up?" I held the phone between my ear and shoulder, trying to shift gears.

"Hey Bells, not much. I was wondering if you'd like to maybe do something this weekend with your old man. Say, maybe go fishing with me and some buddies?" His voice held the hope he didn't want me to hear, but did nonetheless.

I wasn't much of a fisher, seeing as I couldn't really walk down the sidewalk without face-planting into something, but I probably should spend some time with him. Then it occurred to me, he said _buddies, _as in, more than one. I remembered Jake saying something about going fishing with his dad and Charlie this weekend, and just couldn't bring myself to commit to a fishing trip. It wasn't like I had gone on many before, so maybe he wouldn't mind me skipping out on one more. After what I had done to him, I couldn't bring myself to spend the day in such a close proximity with Jacob.

"Um, Dad...I'm...hmm...I'm not so sure Dad. I have a ton of things to do at work, and not enough time in the day to do all of it. Can I take a rain check on that?" I was glad to be talking to him over the phone instead of to his face, maybe he couldn't tell that I was lying about having so much work to do.

"Oh honey, I wish you would come hang out with your old man just once, but maybe next time. I know how much that book store means to you, and I'd hate to see you get behind on anything. Lord only knows how long it takes to get caught up when that happens." I could hear the disappointment in his voice, but was happy that his love for work allowed him to understand what I was saying.

"No joke. Well listen, I have to get running. I have some things to do and I really shouldn't be on my phone while I'm driving." He knew how accident prone I was.

"Yeah, you don't have the best of luck when standing, much less operating a motor vehicle. I'll talk to you later, Bells. Come by and see me sometime. Greenish-brown female sheep." I could hear the smile in his voice.

"Back at 'cha, Dad. I'll come by soon." I hung up and smiled at his show of affection, as I always do. It's never much, but it was Charlie.

As I turned down my street, I realized I wasn't ready to be alone with my thoughts at the moment. After spending the day mostly isolated in the shop with them, I wanted to be around people. Well, not too many, but I hadn't seen or talked to Jenni in so long, and I'm sure Emma was getting bigger. I hadn't seen her since she was born.

I made the short drive down to La Push, watching the rain lightly drizzle onto my wind shield and listening to my tires crunch the gravel underneath. The wipers would squeak every so often, but it was a welcomed interruption to the monotony of the drive. Everything looked the same, the trees still shown a vibrant array of greens and the sky was a dull gray.

When I reached the drive, I noticed that Embry was home. I figured with Jake leaving he would be at the shop longer, but I guess I was wrong. I turned off the car and made the trek to the front door. Coming here unannounced was not my usual way of doing things, but I just wanted to feel something familiar. Be someplace I knew.

Before I was able to knock on the solid wooden door, it was thrown open and I stood face to face with Claire.

"Bella! Man, I haven't seen you in forever! Come here girl!" She embraced me in a hug so tight, I thought my lungs might never hold air again.

"Claire...air...I need...air." I choked out while patting her on the back.

She released me from her iron grip, and smiled at me. She was so beautiful. Her tawny colored skin was utterly flawless and had a light glow to it.

"Thanks, I kinda need air sometimes. You know, have to breathe." I joked. She laughed and stepped sideways so I could enter the house.

We walked down the hall to the living room to where Embry and Jenni were sitting on the couch, holding Emma between them.

"Look what I found on my way out to the car." Claire took a seat in the chair on the far wall.

"Hey Bella, where have you been? I haven't seen you in forever. What 'cha been up to?" Jenni placed Emma in Embry's arms and rose from the couch to embrace me in a hug.

"Hey Bells, what's up?" Embry asked, looking up at me.

I released Jenni from the hug and moved to sit on the love seat facing Embry.

"Not much, you know. Just working. Trying to catch up on all the paperwork. What about you guys, what have I missed?" I tucked a few strands of hair behind my ears before placing my hands in my lap and leaning back into the inviting softness of the love seat.

They told me about all the sleepless nights and how Embry had yet to go back to work full time because Emma demanded so much attention, that he couldn't leave Jenni to do it all on her own.

The conversation flowed effortlessly until it came back to me. They wanted to know about the _guy_ I had had coffee with a while back. They wanted details, but I wasn't willing to offer much, especially with Embry in the room. An awkward silence fell over us, and Embry took this as his cue to leave.

He took a sleeping Emma down the hall and placed her in her crib before walking to the front door and hollering that he'd be back later on.

Once it was just us girls, I spilled everything out to them. All about Edward, and how things were going there. Truth be told, there really wasn't much to tell. Sure he seemed like a great guy, but I just really didn't know much about him. I told them about Jacob sending all the flowers and stopping by the shop. And about the previous night. I told them everything. When I was done, I realized I had tears staining my face. I stopped talking and the room fell silent. No one spoke.

Claire finally cleared her throat and stood from her spot at the table after what felt like hours, but was actually just a few minutes. "Well, I think this calls for a drink."

"Claire, I don't think-" Jenni began, but Claire silenced her with a look that said 'we're having a drink dammit, now shut the hell up'. "I think it's a good idea, so suck it up and put on those big girl panties. We're going out for a girls' night. Call Em. Now."

I glanced at her retreating form as she stalked off to Jenni and Embry's room to dig through Jenni's closet I assumed.

"Well Bella, I guess there's no choice left. She seems pretty set on this." Jenni tried to look as if she didn't want to go, but she couldn't help the small smile that played at the corners of her lips. I suppose she was happy to get a chance to go out. I was scared a bit actually, not sure if I was really in need of a drink like Claire said. The waterworks were already working, so it's not like I needed to add alcohol to the mix and make it worse. But then again, I hadn't been out in so long with my friends, and I truly missed spending time with them.

"Well, I suppose she's right. After all, how long has it been since you had a drink? The night you and Em conceived Emma right?" I teased.

"Hush up. Now go on and get ready, I'm gonna call Embry to come home and sit with Emma." She hopped to the phone with more pep than what was normal. One could easily tell that she was excited to be going out. I could do this. I _would_ do this. If not for myself, then at least for my friends.

I hurried home after telling them that I needed to go change. I figured this way I was able to have a few moments to better compose myself before we went out. I wasn't a heavy drinker, but I always liked to think that I could handle my own. Jake didn't ever agree with me on this fact. It was always an ongoing argument between the two of us, but not so much that it hindered the fun we had together.

The memories of all the late night games of Beer Pong and Quarters with the guys began flooding my brain. Truth be told, I could still hang with the girls and feel okay. But the guys, I wasn't sure of. Of course I considered them friends, family even, but that was when I was with Jake. How would I be accepted by them now that I wasn't with Jake? Embry had spoken to me earlier, but even he was a little standoffish.

Once I arrived home and made it inside, I went to my closet to pick out something to wear. I didn't have too many things to pick from in the 'night out' department, but I was able to find a comfortable, silver, tulip dress with flowing sleeves. The dress ended about mid-thigh and with it being somewhat cooler outside in the evening, I added a pair of black tights and a pair of black stiletto ankle boots.

After adding a long black and silver beaded necklace, matching dangling earrings, a bit of makeup, and fixing my hair into soft waves that flowed down my back, I was ready to go with the girls. I called them to make sure we were meeting at the club as planned, and left after hearing from Claire that they were ready to leave as well.

I hopped in the car and drove the short drive to the Bohemian Lounge in Port Angeles. It wasn't packed, but that was okay because it was still early and I wasn't big on being in large groups. At least while I was sober, anyway.

Jenni and Claire had yet to arrive, so I waited in the car for them. I wasn't about to walk into the club all alone. I had only been there a few times before with Jake and the group, and wasn't sure how I would deal with being here without him for the first time. My nerves were starting to get the best of me, and I almost backed out, wanting nothing more than to drive back home and curl up with a good book and forget this nonsense.

But I couldn't. I had told them I would go, and with all I had been going through as of late, I could probably use the night out. Senseless was dancing around in a pair of heels I would never dare to wear while Sensible threw me a look that was very hard to ignore. She didn't want to go in the club anymore than I did.

Five minutes of sitting in the car second guessing myself, Jenni's Silver Altima pulled up beside me, with the girls getting out and straightening their clothes soon after.

I climbed out of the car, straightening my dress as well and coming to stand next to Claire.

"Are you ready to get your drink on, Bells?" she asked, nudging me with her elbow.

I cocked an eyebrow at her, "Um, I guess."

"That's the spirit. Shall we?" She asked as she hooked her arms in Emily's and mine.

When we entered the club, Claire dragged us straight to the bar.

"I'll have an Amaretto Sour, she'll have a Malibu and Pineapple," she said pointing at Jenni, "and she'll have.." she trailed off, looking at me.

"Cherry Vodka Sour." I offered.

"Alrighty then, Cherry Vodka Sour it is." Claire smiled at the bartender and handed him a card. "It's all on me tonight."

He was a handsome young guy. He was considerably tall, not as tall as Jake was, but maybe more like Edward. His eyes were a bright blue, not at all like Jake's dark brown or Edward's vibrant green. His smile didn't touch his eyes like Jake's did, and his lips weren't as full as Jake's either, but were fuller than Edward's.

_Why am I comparing this guy I've never met to the two men in my life? _I thought to myself as Jenni handed me my drink and led us to a table close to the door. The music was loud, some techno dance mix that was reverberating off the walls and tables. Our drinks sloshed in our cups slightly as the bass picked up.

"Wanna dance? I love this song?" Jenni asked as she leaned across the table.

"Not yet, maybe after I've had a few more drinks in me." I shouted back to her.

I took a sip of my drink and looked around at all the people who were in the club. Most of the people were couples, either out for a night alone or with groups of other couples, I assumed. There was a group of men who sat alone, no girls to keep them company, but they looked to be having a good time amongst themselves.

There was a loner at a table in the corner behind me. His back was to me, so I couldn't tell if he was waiting on someone or drowning his sorrows in a glass of Jack.

There were so many different things going on all at once. I wasn't really feeling the alcohol yet, so I wasn't ready to dance. A few of the guys from the group across the dance floor from us came over and asked if any of us would like to dance.

"Sorry guys, we're married." Claire frowned and shrugged her shoulders, leaving the men to walk back to their table without a partner to dance with.

I was a little bother by Claire's quick dismissal of the men. They were nice looking young men, seemed to be around our age. I couldn't get past the 'we're married' thing. _I_ wasn't married. Why shouldn't I have been able to dance with one of them? Not that I would have, it would just have been nice to have the choice to answer for myself.

The little bud of irritation was beginning to grow as I sat silently gulping my drink while Claire and Jenni talked about inconsequential things. I didn't feel like commenting on relationships since I wasn't in one myself. Truth be told, I was rather bored.

Song after song played, more people began to cram into the small club, and drink after drink was gulped down. I soon began to feel the effects of the light red liquid I was consuming. If I kept on down the path I was on, there would be no way in hell I was going to be able to drive myself home.

Finally, there was a song that came on that I recognized and liked the beat of. I had downed enough liquid courage and decided that I was ready to dance.

"I love this song! Are you girls ready to hit the floor?" I shouted to them. Claire was the first to answer.

"Girl, I've been ready for so long, I was about to go without you!" She grabbed my hand and I eagerly followed her and Jenni out onto the dance floor. We began dancing, swaying and moving with the music. Jenni dropped down, popping her ass up and down in front of me, while Claire moved against me from behind. I rolled my hips and shook my thighs, really getting into the song.

I was really enjoying dancing with the girls, but after four up beat songs, I really needed something else to drink. I made my way to the bar after asking if they needed anything while I was there. Both declined and continued to dance with each other.

"Can I get another Cherry Vodka Sour, please?" I asked the bartender who I was diligently scrutinizing earlier.

"Sure, anything else?" He shot me a perfectly white smile.

"No, that's all, thanks." I smiled as he walked away.

"That's not what at all I pictured you to drink." A familiar voice spoke from behind me.

"Edward, what are you doing here?" I asked. I was rather excited to see him and almost flung myself at him when I went to hug him. I was _really _feeling the alcohol now, and he smelled _so_ good, I didn't want to let go.

He pulled away, but left his hand on the small of my back. "I looked online for somewhere I could have a drink at and this place said it was a lounge, so I figured I'd give it a try. I was thinking it might actually be a bit quieter here, but it's okay. Who are you here with?"

"Oh just a couple of friends. We came for a girl's night out."

"Here's your drink, ma'am." The bartender handed me the drink and a napkin. I leaned against the bar, drink in hand.

"So did you come alone, or are you here with some friends?" I asked Edward. His hair was in a beautiful disarray with one lock falling forward onto his forehead.

"I came alone. Like I said, I just thought this was going to be some sort of lounge, like a gentleman's club minus the naked ladies." We both chuckled.

"Well, you aren't going to find much like that around here." I glanced over at Claire and Jenni on the dance floor. They were now accompanied by Quil and Embry. I looked over at our table and noticed a bunch of the guys had come out with them, as well as their wives. Then I looked over to the other end of the bar and saw her. Leah.

I grew instantly pissed. I had hoped like hell I wouldn't run into her anymore after the incident in the hospital bathroom. Fate really didn't like me much. Senseless put on a pair of boxing gloves and began to jump around while Sensible sat in a row of bleachers and held up a pennant that said 'Go Bella'. I took in a long breath and held it for a while before releasing it and taking a gulp of my drink.

"Did you want to go back to your friends? I didn't plan on staying much longer, I was almost ready to leave until I saw you. I just wanted to say hi and see how you were doing. I didn't get to really talk to you this morning." I scanned the group of my friends, looking to see if _he_ was here, but I didn't spot him anywhere.

_Good, _I thought. _That's all I need. Jake, Edward, and Leah all in the same building. _

"What? No. No, it seems to have gotten a bit crowded over there. Did you want to sit down?" I gestured to an empty table for two.

"Sure, wherever you want to sit is fine." He held his arm out for me to go first. I picked a table close to the bar, but still in view of where I had been sitting with Claire and Jenni. Edward sat facing the door and my table of friends, while I sat across from him with my back to the door.

We talked for a little while, shouted really, before he asked if I would like to dance with him. It was a slow song, a country one. I was still reeling from the copious amounts of liquor I had been consuming all night and anxiously agreed.

When we made it out onto the dance floor, he pulled me close to him, but left a smidgen of room between us as he placed his hand on the small of my back and with the other, held my hand to his chest. The gesture was sweet and I laid my head against his shoulder, inhaling the lovely scent of him.

"Um, Bella. Are you sniffing me?" He pulled his head back to look at me as I looked up at him, wide eyed.

"Wha- no. Yes. I mean, you just smell _really_ good, Edward. I'm sorry. Does it bother you? If it does, I won't do it anymore."

He chuckled and placed a soft kiss on my forehead. "No, it's just that I don't think I've ever had anyone sniff me before, is all. Do you do that to everyone or just good looking doctors you stumble into?" He tried to hide his little smirk, but failed miserably.

"I don't make it a habit to sniff people. I just happen to think you smell like...sooo freakin' good right now. What is that?" I sniffed again.

"Oh woman, you're funny when you're drunk." He laughed as he released his hold on me and spun me around. Mid spin, I noticed a set of very dark, very familiar eyes watching me.

_Jake. Oh God, no. _

I didn't know what to do, so I kept dancing with Edward until the song was over. Once it was done, I asked if we could go sit back down. He agreed, stating that the new song playing was 'a little much' for him.

"Did you want another drink?" He asked as we got to the table, to which I quickly nodded. He made his way to the bar and I sat down in Edward's seat. I really didn't know what to think or say after seeing Jake here. He wasn't supposed to be here tonight. None of them were except for Claire and Jenni.

Part of me grew very upset, thinking they had planned this all on purpose. Maybe that was why Claire was so quick to turn down the group of guys who had wanted to dance with us. The music kept booming loudly, blocking most of my thoughts with it's deafening beat.

The one thing it wasn't blocking was the thought of Jake and I the night before and the look on his face when he was watching me dance. He looked pissed, but that couldn't be right because if he was, he would have said something, right?

He wouldn't have just stood there on the side of the dance floor as I danced with Edward if he still wanted to be with me. _Right?_

I kept my head down, not wanting to see Jake looking at me. I could feel his glare, or so I thought. It could have been anyone's I suppose. Edward came back with our drinks and sat down with his back to the door.

We sat and talked for a few minutes as much as we could over the music. When it grew to be too difficult or just plain annoying to yell over the music, we sat in silence watching everything that was happening around us.

I didn't want to look in Edward's direction, because then I would be looking in Jake's as well. Or at least where he was standing earlier. When Edward commented on the song that was now playing, I couldn't help but look his way. When I did, I saw that Leah was grinding on Jake in a very raunchy way. He didn't seem to mind really, it almost seemed as if he wasn't paying her any mind at all. But the feelings of jealousy and anger rose up inside from somewhere deep in the pit of my stomach again.

I think more than anything, it hurt to have it thrown in my face like that. He knew how I felt about it, but he didn't seem to care. Last night seemed to mean nothing to him. Maybe it was one of those 'I don't want to be with you, but I want to fuck you one more time' things. But we didn't fuck. We made love. It wasn't all in my head, it was real. I couldn't wrap my head around how he could make love to me and then treat me as if I was nothing.

The next song that came on was a fast paced hip hop one. I leaned across the table and asked Edward if he wanted to dance. At first he looked unsure, but once I grabbed his hand and led him to the dance floor, there wasn't much room for him to protest. I pulled him against me from behind and placed his hands on my hips. As I started to move, he moved with me. He turned out to be a very good dancer, and was soon leading me, rather than how we had initially started.

I bent forward, grinding my ass into him as I dropped down low to the ground. As I came back up, I looked up to see Jake and all of my _friends_ staring at me. Most of the guys had shock etched into their features, but Jake didn't. Jake had fury. More than he had earlier. Leah was clinging to his arm, trying to dance on him still, but he wasn't paying her any mind at all by this point. He stood with his arms crossed and his lips pursed. His eyebrows furrowed and his muscles flexed.

If I knew anything at all about him, it was what he looked like when he was mad. Senseless kept saying he didn't have a right to be mad, he was just allowing that whore to rub her ass and her tits all over him and he did nothing to stop her. Sensible, on the other hand, felt bad for Jake. There had to have been a reason for him to be so upset, but still he wasn't making any move towards me or trying to talk to me.

I've always heard actions speak louder than words, and his actions towards me spoke volumes.

He didn't want me anymore.

I turned around and stood with one leg in between Edward's and began grinding against him while throwing an arm over his shoulder. His hands found purchase on my hips once again, and he pulled me even closer.

We continued to dance like this for a few more songs, with him holding me close and me gyrating all over him.

"Bella, do you think we can take a break? I need to get something to drink, and your friends have been staring at you for quite some time." Edward asked once the music switched to something a little slower.

"Sure, no problem. I need to use the restroom anyway."

"Did you want something else to drink, or are you good?"

"I'm good, I think I still have some in my cup on the table." I told him as he turned and headed back to the bar. I watched him as he ordered his drink and then turned to go to the restrooms. When I looked over to see if Jenni and Claire were still here, I saw Jake looking at me with some sort of emotion that resembled hurt mixed with hostility.

I shook off the feelings of guilt and made my way to the restroom. I shouldn't feel guilty, after all, I didn't do anything wrong. We're not together, but still the feeling wouldn't leave me.

Once I made my way back out to the main area, I glanced over to see if Jake was still there. He wasn't. I looked around and couldn't find him anywhere. Trying not to worry about where he was, I made my way back towards Edward.

The dance floor was full, and everyone was crowding around it. I sat down at the table and glanced towards the door just in time to see Jacob leave with Leah right behind him. My heart sank. This wasn't happening. Right in front of me all over again.

I could hear Edward asking me something, but I was too wrapped up in my thoughts of Jacob and my own self pity to catch what he was actually saying. I went to stand up and in doing so, stumbled a bit and knocked my drink off of the table.

"Bella, are you okay?" Edward stood and held onto my arm to steady me. So many things were running through my mind and all I wanted to do was leave. Just get out of there and go somewhere away from this madness that was my life.

"Uh, yeah. Yeah I'm fine. Hey, you want to go somewhere?"

**A/N: So yeah...not much for the music on this one, maybe Sunny Sweeny's A Table Away, but not really. =\ Not much to really say except I'm horribly and tremendously sorry for taking so damn long to write something. I have plans for this story, one being to go back and redo a bunch of it, but I don't know if I really want to or if I'm just thinking my skills at writing are not up to par...Either way, I'll be getting on with this chapter and the next installment of The Hard Arse pretty soon. That chapter is almost done, just a bit more. **

**If you want to follow me on Twitter, the name is kennedymommy3. There are some random, bitchy, silly times over there. I think that's it. Hope you don't hate me too much. -km3-  
**


End file.
